A little light on the situation

Just an update, It's over it's been over and Jay never tried to even explain to me what happened... I haven't spoken to him since my last post and he has made no moves to even try to explain what happened and why it was so easy to kick me to the curb so abruptly. I'm completely and utterly flabbergasted over how I stood by him for this last year only seeing him less than a month in 365 days... and he could just dehumanize me and take the future he promised me and throw it out like it meant nothing to him... I saw all the red flags months ago, but I just didn't think it could happen to me... that he could do that after I stood by him and told him every day I loved him and how amazingly proud of him I was.

this is why I've been MIA and made my official move to Mass.

I find it strange not being a Navy girlfriend anymore. His friends all think he's an idiot for dropping me like that and tell me I deserve to be treated better and so do mine.

The Irony in the situation actually gets better.
Not having that physical relationship makes it easier to move on. I still care for him and wonder what if But the fact that he did what he did makes me Care very little for the kind of person he became and for what reason... I would like to know, but I have lost a whole hell of respect for that boy. I have a job now, and since my move to Mass I wake up every morning with out a care in the world. I am home sick a little, but to tell ya the truth when it comes to most of my friends at home, they all dropped back when I was dealing with a military relationship.

It is REALLY hard to just move on from a long relationship and very many broken promises... but I can always trust again... and I will love someone. This blog is officially over now and I will move to the next.. I just felt the need to clarify one last time... He has not told me, but I have told you.

End and Beginings

I'm turning a new leaf and ending this blog... All though I am forever twisted as per usual, I have some new chapters to write in a different place. I will find you all when I start me new blog.

July Good and Bad

Why does July suck?
It has not always been the case, but for the last 3 years its been the worst month of the year. I look forward to July 4th, Our Nation's very important Birthday, and Independence Day! but that is about it...

July has given and taken from me very important people in my life;
Grandpa's Birthday, July 7th taken July 17
Jayson Conrad's Birthday July 21st taken the same day
J left for the Navy July 11th this is the second July I have been waiting for him

3 years of Julys I cannot wait to be over.
It seems that July brings sleepless nights for me, and this has been years and years happens all the time. but I think its just the season change and the long days that confuse my internal clock.

Good things do happen in July, I met J in July of 2004 and that was a wonderful summer.
J's birthday is July 25th

And His joining the Navy last July has been a wonderful thing. I have never been so proud and honored to know him. I have always loved him more than the world, but The Navy has molded him into a fantastic person. giving him pride and honor for himself.



This July has given my Cousin Jessie a beautiful Baby girl, July 10th 2009 Sophia was born, bringing a sense of hope to the family as this family has had a long and grueling year because our grandmother was ill.



Thanks to many prayers and wonderful family support, Grandma Maryann has been feeling much better and much more well. Well enough to make it to Jessie's baby shower and actually was on her way with Jessie's mother, Debbie to visit and had to turn around and go to the hospital for Sophia's birth.

Jessie's fiance Mike's birthday is July 11th.








My brother Kenny has had lots of bad luck this month and I am praying that he gets out of it and finds his way.

This past weekend Grandpa John and Grandma Maryann's roof was in the process of being repaired. Another good thing to come from July.

In closing, July is one crazy month and I cannot wait until it is over, But it has molded mine and others' characters. with out trials we would have no better days to look forward to. and without trials would have no tributes to work hard for.

A prayer for my Brother

A PRAYER FOR SIBLINGS (Saturday, June 2, 2007)

Oh Heavenly Father, please hear our cry: We are so amazed about our siblings and we all have different concerns. But, we know that You are the God that is more than enough and you know our needs and can meet our every need sufficiently. We know this Lord! For some of us, we simply don’t know where our siblings are and for some of us we simply don’t know what they’re doing. Still others are concerned that they seem to be on a destructive path. Father we ask that no matter what the exact circumstances are that you will first purify our hearts and then you will change these situations that our siblings find themselves in. Father we are asking you to touch their lives, turn them around, Bless them, pour your love on them, shine your light upon them, allow them to walk in your grace and to come to your throne of mercy in their time of need. We thank you, we adore you. In Jesus Name we ask and pray. Amen

http://hedgeofprotection.blogspot.com/2007/05/prayer-for-siblings-saturday-june-2.html

Lately, I've worried for my brother Kenny. He seems to find himself in situations that are difficult, and it is not always his fault. I love My brother with all my heart and I hope that he finds some better luck and sees better days. Please pray for Kenny.

there's always the shore

Happy one year Navy Anniversary

July 11th 2008

J entered the Great Lakes Naval Recruit Training Command.

2 months of Boot camp Great lakes, IL
(he sent me 6 letters)

3 day visit to Great Lakes to see J's RTC graduation
and enjoy his company for his Liberty Weekend

5 months of A school Wichita falls, TX
(one Christmas card from him)

2 weeks of Leave in New Jersey in January 2009

2 months of combat training for J and his unit in MS

2 long weekend trips to visit J on base in Ms

120 days of waiting his return for his first deployment
(37 days left after today)

365 days, 52 weeks, 12 months, 8,781 hours, 526,899 minutes, 31,613,985 seconds
Of pride, tears, honor, love, waiting

All worth every second, every tear, every long day, phone call, text message!

Now you better get your butt home safe soon!
Congratulations Baby! Its been a long year!

Welcome to the World Baby Sophia!!

Baby Sophia

July 10, at 9:28PM.
She weighed 8 lbs. 3 Oz.
20 1/2 in. tall.
Everyone is well