Good friends come from extraordinary people

These couple days have made me realize something important. The people that mean so much to me in my life have also come from some extraordinary people. K has been a very important part of my life these last 5 years and I have been very grateful for it. She has always been there for me and always welcomed me into her life and friends. Her father left us this Friday and was laid to his final rest yesterday. He was a fantastic man and will be missed by so many people. My heart goes to his family. I know almost all of them. You could always count on seeing K’s mother and father at parties. A couple years ago K even played a game of beer pong with her dad. It was a site to see. They did well too! My particular memory of both K’s parents was when we gathered for Alexis’ birthday down in Point Pleasant. Her mom and I drank a bottle of the neighbors home made wine and teased Christine relentlessly. Christine had told us that there were no sharks on the coast of the Jersey shore because there was a monitored fence that had a motion detector to move when boats came over it. Mrs. F and I looked as her and then looked at each other and snickered. Mrs. F and I could not stop teasing her. Mr. F wanted very badly to go fishing with Alexis and she didn’t want to go, so I spent a while trying to convince her that it would be fun and she should go. His eyes lit up when he had thought that she actually might decide to come with. She didn’t but still was amazing that he would be so happy to spend sometime with his granddaughter. That light is there in the eyes of his children and this good man leaves behind an extremely loving and caring family. I have the pleaser to call them my friends.

To the family of Gerald Flammer (1943-2008)

The sorrow of the faithful
is not that of permanent loss,
but the tender sense of sadness
that comes in saying good-bye for now
to someone we love.
May today's sorrow give way
to the peace and
comfort of God's love.

Calvin Coats July 7, 1925 - July 17, 2006

July 17^th, 2006 I got a phone call from my father that changed my life. The mere fact that he called in the first place made me nervous, he was never good at that and I felt I was the last to know the important things. This has been one of the exceptions before and to this date… and the call is something that runs through my mind often….

“Jess, are you home?”

“No.” I said “I’m with Heather at Ringside… What’s up?

“Jess, I need you to come home, Grandpa is back in the hospital and I need you to stay with Grandma so I can go see him. We don’t think he is going to make it this time.”

His words shattered me and I was immediately on the road to get to Chatham. I even called him half way there to plead he go right away I was only a couple minutes away and if he went now I also could get my chance to say goodbye to him, but when I got there emits my scolding Dad for still being home he broke the news to me. He told home it was too late. Grandpa was already gone.

The one thing that had been strong and true in my life was forced from my hands and slowly taken from my possession and vision. My grandparents, whom I could always count on to be in that little blue house I grew up in, always to be there… one moved to Iowa and the other moved to heaven. The foundation I extended from was no longer there… I the place I grew from was sold to a divorced man who wanted to be close to him children. My father moved to Florham Park, and my brother moved to Pennsylvania.

I think about my grandfather a lot. Everyday I wish I could have done more than just say “I called on your birthday Grandpa but no one answered the phone. Did you have a Good birthday?” He said “thank you I had a nice birthday Jess.” That was our last conversation in front of the sink in his home. Then I ran off to do whatever I had planned to do that afternoon. I cannot remember if I told him I love him. I think I may have… And I never got to tell him that I had so much respect for him and wanted no more to prove to him that I was a responsible and independent woman that could do great things. I was told he knew… and small things helped me understand… small things like his and Grandma’s wedding album. It was left on the kitchen table one evening and I wrote a note telling them both how I admired their relationship and how long-lived it was. How they stood by one another till death do they part and that the vow they made was still strong to that day…. How I longed to be just like them when I marry. When we were cleaning out their home, I found that album, with the note still attached. I was also told by Bob at church that he had found a letter I had left on my Pastor Dale Forsman’s grave. Bob had taken the letter home because he was worried that it may get ruined in the winter’s weather. And while my grandfather was in the hospital, Bob read him the letter so he could know that his granddaughter was a good person. And that he was happy to hear such great thoughts from me. I still remember noticing that my letter to Dale had disappeared. But I didn’t know where it had gone.

My Grandfather was a good man. I feel selfish not letting him go but he was like a father to me… and I cannot seem to move on. I talk about him constantly and wonder if he sees me or if he is walking beside me. I talk to him sometimes like he can hear me… and cry when I stay on his thought for too long. An American flag makes me think of him the most… he fought for this country in WWII in the USAF and came back and made a family that I have the honor of being a part of. The biggest thing I miss about him was how he was a rock. He kept this family in touch. He made it strong no matter how far away his son and daughter moved they always came back to see him and to see us. I can only hope that we will be able to be like he wanted us to and I can only hope to accomplish out of my life that he gave to me and everyone he loved. I hope you can read blogs in Heaven Grandpa! I love you!

I think of him so much these days because my very good friend Kathy has lost her father. He was a good man and should have been with Kathy and her brothers and sisters longer. I hope I can be strong for her as much as she has stood by me in the past. When Grandpa and Grandma both were in the hospital, Kathy was a nurse on their floors. She helped me know where they were and I just hope I can do the same for her as she has done for me.

Take me to Bed or lose me forever!!

Finally found some words

I spent the last two months writing Jason every day because he was in Boot Camp for the Untied States Navy. I think the last months I have gone through every emotion I have between saying good bye to him and watching him get on a bus, to seeing him for the first time after he had his training. I have had difficulty actually putting my feelings about this whole “Navy girlfriend” thing. I’m proud, happy, intimidated, and ecstatic all at the same time.
Jason looks immaculate. He gained some weight and it is all muscle, and he has this fantastic tone about him. The military really does wonders on our boys. They come out better men than they already were when they went in. My favorite uniform of his are his summer whites. He has a lot of different uniforms. I am proud of him and sad that I cannot have him here with me at the same time. People were stopping him in the middle of the streets in Chicago just to shake his had and thank him for serving. It was amazing. He has come such a long way and grown so much. I even feel a little intimidated by him… feeling a little bit like he might be in such a great place right now that he might not want boring old Jessica anymore. I do know better though. I get to talk to him on the phone a lot now and he tells me he loves me every night. He is currently in Wichita Falls, Texas on an Air Force base awaiting apprentice training for the construction battalion (Seabees). He will be there until January and then he gets to come home for a little bit before his potential deployment to the Middle East.
Jason says he does his morning training with the Marines that are on the base with them. Seabees are hybrids he says; Half Navy Half Marines and not quite sailors but are at the same time. He also likes to make fun of the Air Force these days and I yell at him every time. I say you can’t make fun of the Air Force! My Grandpa was a Flying Officer and I have an uncle and a good friend in the Air force!! He laughs and says Navy has all the planes. I will get him to stop though. He still loves to get a rise out of me; Teasing me about going out on the town and finding cute girls because his uniform will attract them. I say no baby! You’re mean!! Its Okay. I know He wants me and only me! That Girl in every port is not true!!! I hear that all the time now from his teasing friends!
I miss him so much! I Cannot wait to be in his arms again!

Pictures from July to September

How I met my Sailor

Still trying to relate to this Navy Boyfriend thing and it been over a month, I've had some help from some good friends, but their guys are all in other military branches. Sarah's been a tremendous help considering her man is in training too but for the army, I've begun to search discussion boards and groups on Facebook and other sites. I came across one I found particularly inviting; "Navy Girlfriends" and Joined it. Their one group Post was titled "How I met my Sailor" and not being able to resist because it is sooooo soon till I get to see him and possibly meet him for the first time again... The writer and me exploded.

"How I Met My Sailor"

"My sailor, (due to graduate Recruit Training Command) Jason, and I met twice.
The first time we met I was far too shy to talk to him. I was at his house for his sister Jenna's party, they used to combine parties and throw pretty crazy ones at that. I remember Jenna saying "that's my brother Jason.", and me saying "wow, he's hot, I wish I was single." Because I was with Johnny, my boyfriend at the time, I didn't dare go near Jay. Johnny and I had crashed at the house being there was a drink and there is no way your driving policy at the house. When I was on the deck that next morning Jason spoke to me and I thought I would die. He was sitting on a cooler and he said "there are some beers in that cooler water over there."is there coffee?" I inquired, he pointed to the house and after a clumsy "thank you!" and and smile, I again ran away from him. That weekend quickly meshed with the other weekends of that year and it was soon one of those memories that where forgotten. Jenna and I hadn't seen each other for years because that party was for our mutual friend Stacy whom went off to college. Stacy and I also grew apart after that summer. Until one day I was working at a restaurant in Morristown and I came to greet a table. There was Jenna and Jason sitting there. Again I said “wow that guy is hot”, but this time thinking he was Jenna's boyfriend, so he was off limits. Jenna said, "Do you remember my brother Jason?" and introduced us once again. We shook hands, Locked eyes (and he has the most amazingly blue ones at that) he aggressively flirted with me, I flirted back, He called me gorgeous, I couldn't resist him, we exchanged phone numbers, I was floating on Cloud 9, and it was all History from there. It’s been a tumbling road since then, but I still can not resist his Blue eyes."

I can not wait to see him in Uniform!! I can not wait to kiss him again!! I can not wait to hear his voice again!! I can not wait! I can not wait!!!