Neon Troubles and ♥Friend Feed Back

Yesterday my Neon overheats on the bridge turning right on to Bridge Street, put the hazards on and the lady behind me has her Van angled looked like she was ready to cut me off on the right is flipping me off because I wave her around. She's cursing me for two lights when she finally gets the idea to pull around me, Then she gives me a dirty look as she passes my over heated car. Sorry Lady My car stopped right in front of your car just to ruin YOUR morning!

This is what my friends thought about it when I posted on Facebook.

Yesterday at 9:43am Only Friends · Comment · View Feedback (6)Hide Feedback (6)

Massholes.

Yesterday at 10:11am ·

People are just sooo self centered. I guess the idea to ask you whether you would need help did not come to her mind. I have a Neon. So I guess once this piece of shit stops I am prepared for the worse.

Yesterday at 10:12am ·

what a bitch! hope you get your car fixed! =(

Yesterday at 10:18am ·

I would have asked if she needed help. 2 guys helped push neon around the bend. Every jerk has a good person to make up for the idiots of humanity. Neon's ok for now. But her clock is ticking.

Yesterday at 10:28am ·

Jess, I would've gotten out of the car and taken a shit on her windshield...but that's just me.

Yesterday at 10:51am ·

♥ lol! I love my friends!! ♥♥♥

Thank God there are some decent people around here two guys hopped out of their truck and pushed me around the bend. yay for A J Wood Construction. I have to write them a thank you note! Uncle O helped me figure out the problem later on in the morning. I did not run the car when I put Antifreeze in it. Bad Bad Bad. So Neon is a live and well and no longer overheating now. Sweet!!

Now for the Car Trouble annoying the heck out of me. I really need a break A trip to NJ so I can clear my head and realize that I don't belong there, but because That became not an option with the car over heating and the radiator steaming I will not be able to drive to Jersey as much as I want. so Now it looks like I have new things to add to my list, like Car? Truck? Wish me Luck. and I ♥ my Neon! I REALLY don't wanna give her up. I may have to and it hurts my feelings. :-(

Pretend it's Monday , Friend making Monday

I didn't make it up on Monday AGAIN! So I'm pretending it's Monday today....



So Thank you Amber {ae Flikins} for Friend Making Monday!!

The Simple Woman's Daybook


Outside my window...
Unlike Monday its a cloudy but rainless evening. The cove is calm

I am thinking....
about a lot of things. Trying to figure out what my next big step is

I am thankful...
For the people around me. For the friendly faces at the River Street, and for Aunt C and Uncle O for helping me get a better grip on my life

I am praying...
for my family, for R who's shipped out for Haiti Disaster relief His wife and little one, for CNG J and her boyfriend who also shipped out for Haiti, for Bartender M who just lost his mother, for David Freese and his family and loved ones in Jersey for he has passed on from this Earth, finally, Mark and his faithful dog who also has passed.

I am reading... trying to,
a book that a friend wrote about growing up in Beverly, MA during WWII. I also want to pick up Dear John

I am creating...
a new open comfort zone... Trying to let people know me better up here.

From the kitchen...
I'm dying to try D.A.R.'s Recipe for Ravioli in a Tomato-Basil Cream Sauce
I'm telling you I will cause it looks soooo yummy!!

Around the house...
My Room is a mess!! I need to clean it AGAIN!!

One of my favorite things...
Snail mail.

A few plans for the rest of the week...
sending out cards, cleaning room, Laundry on Thursday, Closing at work with S on Friday!

Friend Making Monday ~ To do (even though it's Thurs)

I've been meaning to start doing lists My first list was the Need/want list but I'm honestly looking to get deeper. Unfortunately my laptop is not always with me so I use a notebook and this notebook I drag to work so when I'm bored I write. With the new year I wanted to refer to a list of things to do, not only for daily or weekly but for a to do for the year. I stumbled across {ae Flikins} and her post Friend Making Mondays. This is perfect! I'm going to start here for my list of just the things I should work on everyday/ week at least.

To Do ~ Daily and Weekly

@>~}~~ ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ Clean room ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ Bring Dirty Dishes, coffee cups, laundry, spoons upstairs ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ wash windows ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ wash uniform ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ fold laundry and put it away ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ Enforce Family dinner weekly with boyfriend S
Aunt C, Uncle O and the rest of the Webb Crew ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ Look for a better Job ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ send out letters ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ clean out Neon (car) ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ check antifreeze / oil ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ call Grandparents and mother ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ Keep in touch with family and friends ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ make plans a couple months in advance ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ have needed "Girls Night" ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ spend less time on computer ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ read a book ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ Make a new Recipe ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ Sweep and mop room ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ open some windows for a little while if it is nice out ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ do not dwell on past ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ Remember What is Meant to be Will Be ~~{~<@
@>~}~Find a Church to go to ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ Say more prayers ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ Drink Less ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ When not happy find a way to be happy ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ Write Grandma Beth a To Do list ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ Make sure to tell the people you love
that you love them ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ always be thankful even for the little things ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ Consider Boyfriend S's wants too ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ Find new hobbies ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ Always add to this list ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ Remember Family and Friend's Birthdays ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ ~~{~<@
@>~}~~ ~~{~<@

There's more but like I said some are for days and some are for the week and I will try my best to update this regularly considering I do accomplish things more readily when I make lists :-) over the last year I've referred to my Personal To Do list I made Nov 2008. honestly, the last couple of months I hadn't even looked at it until January when I pondered this list. It hasn't really changed but it has things on it that should always be understood and lived by.

So Thank you Amber {ae Flikins} for Friend Making Monday!!

Feet, Toes ...

Snow AGAIN

I'm trying to think of a good way to get over my winter blues... but the snow keeps falling. Know what else fell today? Me. I was walking down the three flights of wooden decks in the back of my Aunt and Uncle's place. They live on the top one. I ALMOST made it to the bottom one and slipped and flew. I'm clumsy so I know how to fall. dunno why, my body just moves like a cat moves... natural clumsy reflexes I guess... so I don't really hurt myself often. This time I was trying to save my coffee and not so worried about the stairs. I fell to the landing and rammed my back/hip on a stair. I saved half my coffee... But OMG it hurt. This was a 9:30 am this morning. It's not 7:16 pm and I'm still hurting. this sucks! I'm hoping its just a bruise and nothing too serious because I can move but it hurts to move certain ways. yuck!

See? I'm a summer girl!! I need flip flops and sunshine not ice and snow. I'm seriously wondering why I didn't just go south. But hey! I can still make the best of it some how. Am I being punished for waiting for September now?

Cake is to Have And to Eat

Well I did it again. I tried to push boyfriend away. Poor S is the cake I guess. I try to push him away all the time. J really messed me up I think because I really and truly don't believe Boyfriend S and how he REALLY wants big things for us. I want to believe him but honestly somethings bug me. somethings give me red flag. Last night I pulled the drink a little too much and try to break up with S again. This all kinda happened because I told boyfriend that I wanted to go back to learn about my Native American heritage, but I would have to go away for a month to do so. Well S takes this awfully wrong so when I woke up this morning I get the booming words "WE have some things WE NEED TO TALK about". I even told him "The Indians sent me a coyote in my backyard" I was defiantly trying to sell this Indian thing to him. This morning I said that won't even happen, but if it does it'd be nuts. It took us a couple of hours but we talked it all out. we're doing fine now, which is fantastic. I dunno, I wanna tell him that sometimes I wanna have my cake and eat it too I want him but I wanna be single. I can't though. I'd risk losing him and I'm not sure I want to. He tells me he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, and I had to tell him that it is not his fault, as much as I believe him I'm so scared to trust that statement because I have heard it before and believed it and was let down. I couldn't even get it out with out bawling. S really is a wonderful man. He REALLY loves me. Please God help me to get past my fears and let him love me?

Here is a poem I wrote, It reminds me of the situation;

Please God Lend me some shoes?
Current mood: confused

Please God Lend me some Shoes?

Dear God, please lend me the shoes of a strong willed woman,

So I can walk a mile and realize that will is not all I need

Help me see that will itself only helps me proceed

Please loan me a pair of well warned boots of one with nerves of steel

I will give them back in one day maybe two

I need to learn how to make my tension heal

Teach me to be strong, to walk with my head high

And not worry so much that I will someday die

Let me borrow the shoes of an elderly woman who has seen it all

And has faith that the Good Lord will take her because she has done all her living

May you allow me to use my mother's shoes

To understand the trials she went through

And also a while her mother's too

Though we are close in voice I can't possibly understand

Unless I see it from my own eyes

Dear God lend me the shoes of my faithful lover

So I can understand the stress I put this wonderful man under

Teach me the ways to make me stronger

In body, in mind, in faith through feet, and eyes

Then return me my shoes so I can again walk through life;

much more than a mile and a few pairs of shoes wiser.

JLC 12/27/07

He REALLY loves me.

I know he does and I love him.

A Question from The New Girl on Post

New Girl on Post blogged "Question Kinda Day" for today and it just made me start thinking about how much this blog has done for me in the last year and a half!

Here's my Answer and I will go into it deeper in a little while I Just wanna go have a beer cause the NY Jets just beat the San Diego Chargers:

Twisted Jess said...

I started blogging in July of 2008. My boyfriend at the time was in Navy Recruit Training command and I needed something to take my mind off the fact that he was gone and not many of my friends at home understood a thing I was going through. My friend Sarah on Sarah Takes on the World was going through something similar and suggested I try it. I vented my way through his A School,and first deployment and sadly through the end of our relationship. but it also helps me now through my search for me. I love it and I love reading all of you ladies' blogs and finding new and fun ones. Blog land is great! Thank you for the great question!!

I will not search. What will be will be

New Idea for me.

I always long for starting a family and finding a home.... One where I can actually say HOME, "I'm going Home" and it actually is a home: A house that my family is in. MY family. Well, I give up. It seems the more I long for it, the longer it takes. It's like longing to find love. My biggest advice is Don't look for it. Have the time of your life and it will fall in your lap when you least expect it. Well here we go... I'm taking my own advice for once. I will have the time of my life. I'm not searching for it. I'm not longing for either one anymore. I'm going to live my life and when it happens to fall into my lap I will thank God for it. Until then... I will not worry about it passing me by because you can't pass by something like this... God has his reasons and everything happens for a reason. If it is meant to be it will be...

Prayers for Haiti and All of Our Troops

Please keep Haiti, her people, and our troops and their families who are working hard out in the desert and deploying for disaster relief in your thoughts and prayers. God Bless our Heroes and please keep them safe!

Rick, Julie, & Jacob
Rick is leaving for Disaster Relief With the U.S. Army as we speck

List # 1 : needs / wants

Need List:
I'm heading to Wal*mart. Most likely not getting any of these things, but I figured I'm gonna work on some lists... The lists help me organize and work towards goals so, why not post the best one first huh?

Needs:

Curtains for my room: 8 windows
Dresser / Armorer / Storage buckets for clothes
Underwear / Socks
Jeans / Slacks (Pair of black pants for work)
New Fuzzy boots


Wants:

Book: Dear John
Cover for my Phone
Microwave

Temporary Home

Justin and I have knew each other when we were young and our mothers were in beauty school together. Our mothers' lost touch and our lives moved into different places. About a year ago we re-met in Pennsy. It was really cool. He's on the right.

Justin

:(

u in mass still?

7:47pmJessica

ya.

i love and hate that too... I got some serious winter blues

7:48pm Justin

u can trade in ur car.

u dont like mass so much any more?

7:49pmJessica

its alright. just too freakin cold

7:49pmJustin

lol at least u have snow tho. cold without snow is like... a whore with... no... pimp?...

7:50pmJessica

and i dunno i'm back and forth with the homesickness. not so much for the place home but the family and friends home

7:50pmJustin

i know what you mean

i havent felt 'home' in a long time

7:50pmJessica

ya i got plenty of snow

7:51pmJessica

aw i'm sorry! I mean i feel at home but its an odd feeling too me cause its just so bumpy i dunno...

7:52pmJustin

its fine, i'll find it one day. i think i understand what you mean tho

7:54pmJessica

you might. but Its not a good feeling so I don't wish that ya do

7:55pmJessica

besides its strange like if i feel too at home i kinda freak out... its like pushing away someone you love because you don't know any better

7:55pmJustin

i'd heard it said before that once you move away when you grow up, you never do find home again. nothing ever will feel like it.. you make your own eventually

but its never the same

heh, come to think of it, i think that was from the movie Garden State

7:56pmJessica

good way to look at it though the search is hard

7:58pmJustin

ah, found it.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0333766/quotes

the third set of quotes down

8:02pmJessica

*sigh*

Shortly after Justin and My conversation I heard Carrie Underwood's new song "Temporary Home". It was fitting for the conversation and slightly ironic.

Need to Change my Winter Blues

And What is the weather like today? Snowy.

I talked with S a little last night. I asked him if he thought I had been miserable.
Yup. You've been miserable all month! He insisted.

S is all confused as to how things can bother me so much. Says he doesn't get it. Why did I move up here in the first place if I was going to miss my family and friends so much?
J: Because I was drowning in NJ I didn't know I would be miserable.

J: I don't think I had the chance to find myself up here because we got into a relationship so fast.
S: What sleeping around would have helped you "find yourself"
J: no. I am happy I have you You helped me find home!
S: But you hate your job, don't like where you live (the list goes on).
J: But if it were for you I would have been miserable from the start. You make me more comfortable. You gave me home!! Without you I would have bailed months ago!!
S: Happy I make you feel better Baby!

S : "you've Changed" That's a fantastic 4 month mark in a relationship.
Reasons: In the beginning drinking wasn't bad. "We haven't been drinking as much as we could" is S's favorite quote. Now you don't even want to drink.

J: I can't help it. I don't wanna be that drunk girl, and I defiantly don't want to lose my dreams of a family because I have to party all the time. I came up here to Change, Change is what I want to do.

Why do you care what other people think of you soooo much?? S doesn't understand because He really only cares about what a few people think, me being one. But he completely missed the point. Its what I think of myself.

See? SUMMER!! We need you!!

Waiting for Spring

Well, Silly me moves up to Massachusetts just in time for Fall... and Winter. I was bruiting, Instead of seriously enjoying my summer for Whinny deployment sucks reasons, I waited for September to Arrive from March 2009. In fact I also waited for September to arrive June 2008 too... I was a silly girl. When September blew around and My life Moved North to this beautiful state and some much needed change I grew annoyed with J for taking my September away so abruptly and annoyed with J and myself for Waiting for September and letting my summer days disappear as fast as they came. I had some fun summer moments but This summer 2010... I can not wait for it's arrival. Well I've got my comfort food remedies, but that can only bring me so far. I had a wonderful fall and this winter is beautiful but COLD! I've grown bored of it. I pray God gives me the strength to find the beauty in the winter again and hurry it along so the next thing I know it's Spring!!

Comfort Foods and Places For Twisted J

These are all the things that make me happy when I'm feeling blue. I am a comfort food baby. Simple Pleasures for a Twisted Jessica. If I crave my Comfort cure I will not be happy until I get it and when I do I'm as happy as a clam*.


Baileys Irish Cream:
My love for the cold Winter days. In my Hot Coffee for snow storms, First drink for Morristown St. Patrick's Day Parade Day, and a wonderful pick me up for hangover afternoons. In my Hot Chocolate during November and December for the Holiday Season, and I've learned it is fantastic in Dunkin Donuts Ice coffee for summertime, and I love it on the rocks too!!

Dunkin Donuts & CVS:
My boyfriend S teases me about CVS because I will bypass any other pharmacy just to go there. When I'm at Grandmom and Grandpop's in Mystic Island, NJ I will drive to Long Beach Island just to go to CVS which is 15 - 20 minutes away from their house off or Radio Road. I've found a CVS in every town I have been too from Broadheadsville, PA, to Gulfport, MS, and even up here in Salem, MA and I love it. CVS spells Home to me. and my Home CVS is in Chatham, NJ.

Dunkin Donuts:
A special treat that I overindulge constantly. Another thing S has pointed out is a Landmark my towns by Dunkin Donuts locations. Coffee itself is my savior...
C once explained to a friend "Jess is seriously the only stereotypical coffee drinker I know! She can not function in the morning until she has her first cup."
So not so much the hot coffee with D&Ds, but Iced Coffee is the love of my life!
When I'm depressed, homesick, PMSing; D&D's Ice coffee.
When I'm hungover; D&D's Ice coffee.
Road trip: D&D's Ice coffee
When I had Strep D&D's Ice coffee
When I've been working the bar all day Wild guess: Yup! D&D's Ice coffee
and All summer long; D&D's Ice coffee

Boyfriend S introduced me to a couple very yummy Dunkin Donuts combination for our road trip this past October; Said it was his friend Drunk Boy's favorite; Half hazelnut coffee half hot chocolate. OMG drunk boy! it was fantastic! Best Fall road trip pick me up EVER!! I L O V E it!!

I've about summed up Hot Chocolate too... I do drink it without Baileys all the time. My favorite is when its made with milk, but I love it anyway its made with and without whipped cream and marshmellows. I love Chocolate milk too. Had a glass yesterday. I'm PMS girl right now!

Tuna fish:
Don't know what it is, but Tuna fish sandwiches make me happy. I crave them mostly when I'm hungover. or when I'm sad. Must be because Grandma Marie made Tuna fish all the time and I had plenty of them in my brown paper bag lunches growing up. best with potato bread, American cheese, & lettuce. Love it as a tuna melt with tomato soup!

Kraft Yellow American Cheese Singles, Potato Bread, & Cambell's Tomato Soup:
Best Oohy Gooey Grilled Cheese and tomato soup ever!! My Favorite combo.

I love cheese and any cheese will do but I will literally crave Kraft Yellow American Cheese Singles and eat them as a snack. I'd chose them over a potato chip any day or even a chocolate chip cookie. They must be yellow... not white.

Potato bread is just the best bread ever for sandwiches. I love bread and I love Sandwiches but sometimes it must be Potato bread!!

Tomato soup: I love it. It doesn't have to be Cambell's but Cambell's is my favorite pick for the best Grilled cheese and tomato soup combo ever!!


Finally Frozen Sweet Peas:
Dunno where I picked this up... But I did and I love it. I think it's another Grandpa thing. Grandpa C gave me lots of comfort food. I would go to the freezer in the utility room (a.k.a. basement, storage, room next to the garage with a back door) grab a bag of frozen peas and chow down on them with a little butter. Weird yes... because I know one person who does it and that's Aunt Cyndi and we didn't even know each other until July 2009. My two old roommates from Boonton Ave would always yell at me cause when they were sweeping they knew when I was into them. little shriveled up peas in the corners of the kitchen (lol!!) Sorry CQ and H!! The peas actually taste good frozen too... sweeter than when cooked. I put them in my pasta dishes all the time. Cold or Hot pastas. Yup! I'm weird... but who cares cause it makes me happy!

Above: my main and most craved comforting foods and places.

I crave other things too but not nearly as much as the ones above. Hot dogs microwaved, Pasta Salad, Tomatoes; Particularly Jersey beefsteak tomatoes, so sweet I eat them like apples, baloney, Apples and Peanut butter (must be crunchy for the best), Nuts, raisins, trail mix, pasta with white clam sauce, pasta with pink sauce and peas, Macaroni and Cheese, zucchini, potato leek soup, Onion rings with Russian dressing, Garden Salads, Asparagus, and sometimes... sardines and or pickled herring.



"Happy as a Clam"

* "As a simile, happy as a clam, when applied to people, means they feel a special safety or security. Things are well in the world and danger is, for the moment, at a safe distance. The clamshell contains the person well, providing safety, and a virtually uncrackable hardness. As Saxe writes in his last line of his sonnet: “thy case is shocking hard!”