Need to Change my Winter Blues

And What is the weather like today? Snowy.

I talked with S a little last night. I asked him if he thought I had been miserable.
Yup. You've been miserable all month! He insisted.

S is all confused as to how things can bother me so much. Says he doesn't get it. Why did I move up here in the first place if I was going to miss my family and friends so much?
J: Because I was drowning in NJ I didn't know I would be miserable.

J: I don't think I had the chance to find myself up here because we got into a relationship so fast.
S: What sleeping around would have helped you "find yourself"
J: no. I am happy I have you You helped me find home!
S: But you hate your job, don't like where you live (the list goes on).
J: But if it were for you I would have been miserable from the start. You make me more comfortable. You gave me home!! Without you I would have bailed months ago!!
S: Happy I make you feel better Baby!

S : "you've Changed" That's a fantastic 4 month mark in a relationship.
Reasons: In the beginning drinking wasn't bad. "We haven't been drinking as much as we could" is S's favorite quote. Now you don't even want to drink.

J: I can't help it. I don't wanna be that drunk girl, and I defiantly don't want to lose my dreams of a family because I have to party all the time. I came up here to Change, Change is what I want to do.

Why do you care what other people think of you soooo much?? S doesn't understand because He really only cares about what a few people think, me being one. But he completely missed the point. Its what I think of myself.

See? SUMMER!! We need you!!

Waiting for Spring

Well, Silly me moves up to Massachusetts just in time for Fall... and Winter. I was bruiting, Instead of seriously enjoying my summer for Whinny deployment sucks reasons, I waited for September to Arrive from March 2009. In fact I also waited for September to arrive June 2008 too... I was a silly girl. When September blew around and My life Moved North to this beautiful state and some much needed change I grew annoyed with J for taking my September away so abruptly and annoyed with J and myself for Waiting for September and letting my summer days disappear as fast as they came. I had some fun summer moments but This summer 2010... I can not wait for it's arrival. Well I've got my comfort food remedies, but that can only bring me so far. I had a wonderful fall and this winter is beautiful but COLD! I've grown bored of it. I pray God gives me the strength to find the beauty in the winter again and hurry it along so the next thing I know it's Spring!!

Comfort Foods and Places For Twisted J

These are all the things that make me happy when I'm feeling blue. I am a comfort food baby. Simple Pleasures for a Twisted Jessica. If I crave my Comfort cure I will not be happy until I get it and when I do I'm as happy as a clam*.


Baileys Irish Cream:
My love for the cold Winter days. In my Hot Coffee for snow storms, First drink for Morristown St. Patrick's Day Parade Day, and a wonderful pick me up for hangover afternoons. In my Hot Chocolate during November and December for the Holiday Season, and I've learned it is fantastic in Dunkin Donuts Ice coffee for summertime, and I love it on the rocks too!!

Dunkin Donuts & CVS:
My boyfriend S teases me about CVS because I will bypass any other pharmacy just to go there. When I'm at Grandmom and Grandpop's in Mystic Island, NJ I will drive to Long Beach Island just to go to CVS which is 15 - 20 minutes away from their house off or Radio Road. I've found a CVS in every town I have been too from Broadheadsville, PA, to Gulfport, MS, and even up here in Salem, MA and I love it. CVS spells Home to me. and my Home CVS is in Chatham, NJ.

Dunkin Donuts:
A special treat that I overindulge constantly. Another thing S has pointed out is a Landmark my towns by Dunkin Donuts locations. Coffee itself is my savior...
C once explained to a friend "Jess is seriously the only stereotypical coffee drinker I know! She can not function in the morning until she has her first cup."
So not so much the hot coffee with D&Ds, but Iced Coffee is the love of my life!
When I'm depressed, homesick, PMSing; D&D's Ice coffee.
When I'm hungover; D&D's Ice coffee.
Road trip: D&D's Ice coffee
When I had Strep D&D's Ice coffee
When I've been working the bar all day Wild guess: Yup! D&D's Ice coffee
and All summer long; D&D's Ice coffee

Boyfriend S introduced me to a couple very yummy Dunkin Donuts combination for our road trip this past October; Said it was his friend Drunk Boy's favorite; Half hazelnut coffee half hot chocolate. OMG drunk boy! it was fantastic! Best Fall road trip pick me up EVER!! I L O V E it!!

I've about summed up Hot Chocolate too... I do drink it without Baileys all the time. My favorite is when its made with milk, but I love it anyway its made with and without whipped cream and marshmellows. I love Chocolate milk too. Had a glass yesterday. I'm PMS girl right now!

Tuna fish:
Don't know what it is, but Tuna fish sandwiches make me happy. I crave them mostly when I'm hungover. or when I'm sad. Must be because Grandma Marie made Tuna fish all the time and I had plenty of them in my brown paper bag lunches growing up. best with potato bread, American cheese, & lettuce. Love it as a tuna melt with tomato soup!

Kraft Yellow American Cheese Singles, Potato Bread, & Cambell's Tomato Soup:
Best Oohy Gooey Grilled Cheese and tomato soup ever!! My Favorite combo.

I love cheese and any cheese will do but I will literally crave Kraft Yellow American Cheese Singles and eat them as a snack. I'd chose them over a potato chip any day or even a chocolate chip cookie. They must be yellow... not white.

Potato bread is just the best bread ever for sandwiches. I love bread and I love Sandwiches but sometimes it must be Potato bread!!

Tomato soup: I love it. It doesn't have to be Cambell's but Cambell's is my favorite pick for the best Grilled cheese and tomato soup combo ever!!


Finally Frozen Sweet Peas:
Dunno where I picked this up... But I did and I love it. I think it's another Grandpa thing. Grandpa C gave me lots of comfort food. I would go to the freezer in the utility room (a.k.a. basement, storage, room next to the garage with a back door) grab a bag of frozen peas and chow down on them with a little butter. Weird yes... because I know one person who does it and that's Aunt Cyndi and we didn't even know each other until July 2009. My two old roommates from Boonton Ave would always yell at me cause when they were sweeping they knew when I was into them. little shriveled up peas in the corners of the kitchen (lol!!) Sorry CQ and H!! The peas actually taste good frozen too... sweeter than when cooked. I put them in my pasta dishes all the time. Cold or Hot pastas. Yup! I'm weird... but who cares cause it makes me happy!

Above: my main and most craved comforting foods and places.

I crave other things too but not nearly as much as the ones above. Hot dogs microwaved, Pasta Salad, Tomatoes; Particularly Jersey beefsteak tomatoes, so sweet I eat them like apples, baloney, Apples and Peanut butter (must be crunchy for the best), Nuts, raisins, trail mix, pasta with white clam sauce, pasta with pink sauce and peas, Macaroni and Cheese, zucchini, potato leek soup, Onion rings with Russian dressing, Garden Salads, Asparagus, and sometimes... sardines and or pickled herring.



"Happy as a Clam"

* "As a simile, happy as a clam, when applied to people, means they feel a special safety or security. Things are well in the world and danger is, for the moment, at a safe distance. The clamshell contains the person well, providing safety, and a virtually uncrackable hardness. As Saxe writes in his last line of his sonnet: “thy case is shocking hard!”

2009 Get the Hell outta here and bring on the new year!!

What a year its been!

Through the trials that made us stronger and the tributes that made us warm,
We've all grown to be much wiser than we all were before.
This year has been about
holding on to things we cherished,
praying hard for those we love,
digging deep for that last ounce of strength to help us go another day.
New births, new hearts, long hard drives, lots of tears and lots of smiles
New places, feelings, faces.
What I have lost, I will never forget...
But my gains are worth more than I could have wished for.
I have so much to be thankful for,
for being in my life
for helping me see the truth,
what is worth living for.
My biggest Thanks is for finding a place I feel I can call home.
through all the hell and heaven this year has been
We are all much better for it!
So 2009, Thanks for the craziness and the change!
now get the hell outta here and bring in the new year!!


"Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." Matt 6:34. After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

Merry Christmas

A NY Giant Bone to Pick with Wikipedia

My Aunt C a proud PA born Turned New Englander in the late 70's is a Patriots fan. She dug out this hat from the 2007 Season Superbowl. She thinks I should wear it to let people know I am a Giants fan but I like the Pats too... I love her thinking, but I'm better off just wearing my NY Giants hat. I'm sure to stir some hidden feelings by wearing this one out...

So here comes a bone to pick with Wikipedia... I looked up some Superbowl XLII information and sure to my surprise I read this in the article on this opinionated, web based Encyclopedia :

"Super Bowl XLII was an American football game that featured the National Football Conference (NFC) champion New York Giants and the American Football Conference (AFC) champion New England Patriots to decide the National Football League (NFL) champion for the 2007 season. In one of the biggest upsets in Super Bowl history,^[10] the Giants (14–6) won 17–14 over the previously undefeated Patriots (18–1). In doing so, the Giants became the first NFC wild card team to win a Super Bowl. They also became the sixth wild card seed from either conference, the fifth in eleven years, and second in three years, to earn an NFL championship. The victory marked the franchise's seventh NFL championship and third Super Bowl win—New York's first title since Super Bowl XXV in January 1991. The Giants head coach was Tom Coughlin. The Patriots were coached by Bill Belichick. The tagline for Super Bowl XLII was "Who Wants It More?"

See the bold writing? I'm offended... Encyclopedias Have opinions? I was highly unaware of that.

In fact I have to say that it was not a big upset for half the nation who seriously thought
1. the Pats were accused of cheating
(Wikipedia didn't cover that in the Superbowl XLII page, they did state "The season began with controversy, when in Week 2 head coach Bill Belichick and the Patriots were penalized by the NFL for their involvement in the videotaping of opponents' defensive signals from an unauthorized location in their Week 1 game against the New York Jets, referred to in the press as Spygate. Despite the media scrutiny, the Patriots continued to gain momentum, winning mid-season games by scores such as 52–7 and 56–10, as quarterback Tom Brady^[1] iterated the team's desire to blow out and "kill teams." in 2007 NE Patriots Season.)

2. The Pats can't have a perfect record!!
3. Even Philadelphia and Dallas fans Who HATE the Giants Swallowed their pride and Routed for Big Blue.
4. I personally <~~~ GIANTS FAN! Hello?! no Big upset here... I WAS ECSTATIC

So Wikipedia here's a Friendly Jersey Girl Sending you a BIG Giant UP YOURS!!!
Encyclopedias with opinions are no better than the tabloids. Wanna read about the Tabloids in Wikipedia? TABLOIDS "Junk food News"?

<~~~~~~
And just to let you know... There are Giants Fans in New England... Right here in Massachusetts. This guy... He's from MA!

Dirty room!

Ya know! Why is it soooooo difficult to keep a room clean? I clean it, it looks fantastic and then in two days tops (sometimes) it looks like a hurricane blew through here! K maybe it was a little longer than 2 days this time. I cleaned it, then S and Cousin S came for a visit, and then I got the Strep which landed me bed ridden for a week practically (I still don't feel 100%) but now I have a disaster area in my room and it is sooooo not easy to get motivated to clean it. Christmas is coming... soooo now I really don't feel like cleaning cause I'd rather be drinking baileys instead of cleaning and enjoying what's left of the hype (which I'm more excited about than most years prior)

Dear Santa, Can you clean my room for Christmas? <3 Jessie