Letters From the Great Lakes

I miss Jay terribly. I don't understand why either. I have been away from him for weeks, and we were broken up for a year and a half and only got together again around a month ago. It’s hard for me to even look at a card in CVS or Shoprite even without bursting into tears. I've only received two letters from him so far, and I check everyday for another to arrive. I just like to picture him sitting with me when I read his letter or when I write to him. But he sounds so sad. It’s only been three weeks of Boot camp so far. I feel like it's been six months of Torture. I can also only imagine he feels the same way. i cannot wait until he graduates just to see him for a couple days would make me smile. He apoligised for not writing much and also for not putting in a request to call home because he doesn’t want to be upset, and I told him it was okay because if I heard his voice right now I would surely buckle down in tears. Happy tears of corse, but tears that he does not need to hear if he is to continue what he has set out to do. I can say he sounds a little bit better now, than his first letter. His first letter sounded as though he was in some sort of hell designed to keep us away from each other. The newest letter was showing he had a lot of hope that it will be over soon and September would come soon enough. I want to curse the Navy right now for taking him away from me, but the fact of the matter is he needed the Navy to become a better man and learn that the little things matter so much in life. A year ago J was a person who had no thought of tomorrow, no thought of growing up, drinking less, and thinking about a future. His talents remained unused and dormant because he was sitting in Madison drinking too much vodka… today he is full speed ahead and reaching for goals. He tells me he thinks about me always and looks at my picture in his wallet every night, how a couple days just seeing me would be heaven even though he has to be back on base by 8pm each night I am there to sleep. If my picture and my voice in his heart can keep him pushing through, Jason and I have a future I so have longed for though out these years. So I can not curse the Navy for taking him away from me. I can praise the Navy for helping him be the man I want to be with for the rest of my life. He has become part of a big picture now that I can share with him and support him as much as I can, while he has learned something priceless… the little things count… and a big picture is not a scary as wasting your God giving talents. Thank you US Navy!