Gypsy Living

No matter how dark the night, somehow the sun rises once again and all shadows are chased away ~ David Matthew

I have no ties to Jersey...

J left Thursday... On that last note I tried to get him to talk about "our future" and he got annoyed... He says its up to me if I wait and I said it's not a problem if he can tell me we have a life in the future to look forward to. He said he doesn't even know where he will be or if he'll be coming back... and he isn't even sure if "we" have a future.
J is scared of deployment... REALLY scared... and now he's trying to scare me away because he thinks that if he doesn't have to worry about me he would feel better... at least that is my guess... because I know he wants a future with me.
yet the next day its like it never happened... hugs and kisses and all!!
J has kept me tied to NJ for the longest... He's not here... and We aren't getting married and we are almost kind of up in the air...


My mom and Dad (who live in different places) are currently driving me crazy... One minute its ok for me to live with my mom and the next minute she is shutting down her home and living with her boyfriend (this is crazy in itself ) so I cannot count on her.
My father is living in a mountain of STUFF... It urks me to even be around his place... let alone he won't turn the heat on because he can't afford it and my brother lives with him and I cannot have a conversation with my brother because he has all these awful things against me...

My uncle and his family have been completely hospitable. Amazingly. I feel like I've been here too long and I don't have any options left right now...

I texted my friend on a whim and asked her if she knew anyone who would be up for putting up a Jersey couch surfer in Charlottesville, Virgina. L called me back and we talked for about an hour. I need a change... a BIG change... L said she would help me look into it. The restaurant industry is booming and so is the music. She thinks I'll fit in magically and she is asking around trying to get the ball rolling.

It's funny this whole no ties thing works strangly.

I told my Seabee, J : "When are you going to settle down?"
Me: "Well Baby what should I do? I have no ties around here... and you aren't here so why the heck should I settle down?"
J : "Your like a Gypsy with all these people you know everywhere."

I would die to grow roots somewhere and grow... but I don't know how to do that right now.
it hurts to be away from J & it hurts to be in Jersey.

Who knows what the next week will bring. Just hope it brings me well.

Random Picture Challenge # 4

Random Picture challenge

November picture # 44

November 2007 H & J
H insisted we get a Tree

November 2008 #44

C and S partying away!!

JS had her Halloween party the first Saturday of November

Link up w/ 4 little men and join the fun.

Shock is wearing off

yesterday I started to realize that J was no longer in NJ.

It's hard to see him so far away. :(

it's also hard that my civilian friends seem to have completely ignore me in my time of need... I think they got tired of hearing me cry when J left for boot camp. I don't blame them too much. They have their own lives to deal with right now... but it stinks. besides I also don't blame them because all they would have said to me was "I dunno how you do it." or "You chose to date him when you knew he was leaving so you shouldn't be upset." (then I would have been REALLY pissed)

I have my CNGs on Facebook though. They have been keeping me tough!! And
I'm lucky, the last couple of days J's A school buddy has helped me keep my mind off J being gone. N lives 5 minutes from my Uncle's house and I retreated up here on Thursday a couple hours after I woke up. I would not have been able to deal with my Jersey friends as bad as that sounds. N is a true friend of J's. I think J trusts him more than his friends at home.

N says "that's what Seabees do. Take care of our own and their families!"


Baby:

You're there, I'm here.............
We have a problem

Playing with blog headers

I've been playing with Picnik all day long and these are my results... I don't know which one to pick. I will probably fiddle around some more until I feel better... I dunno.

Fuel For Months

A hug like this could keep me going for another year!! Come home safe Baby!!

The Curse of ATL strikes again

2 summers ago I was dating a guy from Jersey that lived in Atlanta, Ga
(ya I'm a shoe in for long distance relationships)
but here's the Curse.... Every time Ga boy flew me to Ga to see him, I got delayed at the Newark airport for hours at a time. On the way back I would be fine... no delays even if it was pouring rain we had a perfect landing. I HATED it. I got stuck there so late that I was 2 hours early for my flight at 430 and the plane did not even come in from ATL until 800. it was CRAZY!!




Yesterday was J's last couple of hours at home. I think I checked his Delta Airline flight every couple of hours and it was all go the entire time even with the weather. I even mentioned the curse... I said watch out my flights to ATL always get delayed. It happened every time like clock work to me. none the less after J's goodbyes with his sister and mother we left with his father headed to Newark.

The ride to Newark. I played with his hat. I look goofy in it.

about 20 minutes out from Newark an 800 number started calling his phone. Finally he answered. It said his flight was canceled. in disbelief we still made our way around the terminals via air tram and made it to terminal B just to find out his flight would be at 6am the following morning!! Sweet!!


J was in shock I was in shock... Dad J was in shock... OK so we have another night!! OMG!!! J gave me his orders paperwork and his new tickets and asked me to put it in my purse. I didn't. I put it back in his duffel bag before we got back on the air tram.

We stopped at the Starbucks in Terminal A. J and his dad got double espresso shots and I got my favorite airport delay drink: Grande cafe' mocha. I grabbed J's bag and carried it to the truck and we high tailed it out of there.

We made it all the way back to Madison and stopped to pick up a prescription for his mother at the pharmacy. I then realized I was missing my purse.

missing:

1 Red purse with a j on the front.

Contents:

MY WHOLE LIFE;

car keys, registration for my car, drivers license, SS card, money, digital camera

I was beside myself. J kept telling me he was gonna kill me lol!! Holly Crap!!
J's father works at Newark and he was able to have his co workers locate my missing purse!!

Thank God for BIG miracles!!!!!

Thank God for canceled flights,
12 hours more with my Seabee (even though he was gonna kill me lol)
Thank God for Jimmy K.

To all of you that are fans of coffee...
Starbucks will make you forget your purse at the airport. stick with the locally owed coffee shops from now on.
I can't believe I had to be reminded of my old favorite coffee shop in the world Sweet Dreams Cafe.

Who's bumper sticker read WAY before DD's

FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS DRINK STARBUCKS!!

Time flies

I cannot believe it is already Monday. God I don't want Wednesday to come!! We can hear the Navy calling J in Mississippi.

Saturday we hung out with N, J's Texas A School partner in crime. It was so cool hanging out with him finally. I got to see the two of them together which by conversations with J and J putting N on the phone I could already almost picture it in my head. N was exactly like he sounded in person. A really cool guy and J and him were like two peas in a pod. I think my favorite part of the whole evening was when we came to J's house and we were sitting in the living room and J and N starting sounding off Seabee cadences. I laughed. I was in J's lap and he was tapping out the beat on my thigh. I loved every minute of it!

The Terrors of Wichita Falls Air Force Base

Saturday night I was already starting to go in and out of tears... silent ones but none the less Wednesday is far too close and J goes back to Mississippi.

"Baby are you sad?" J asked while holding me close.
I was holding back tears. "yes. I don't want Wednesday to come."
"Baby do N & I have to sing more cadences for you? Will that make you happy?"
I laughed "yes!"

Sunday was fun. We all woke up at the same time and made our way downstairs. N was already awake saying "I'm hungry Kuli! It's Chow time!"

We made our way to the diner and had a nice breakfast, then I drove for a little bit and insisted we stop at the Legion for Nat's Famous Bloody Mary's.

The remiandar of the day I bartended at the Elks Club. It was a LLLLoooooNNGG day! The bar was packed cause everyone came down to see J.


I woke up this morning with tears in my eyes again. J didn't see me cry but as much as I know he has to go back to Mississippi... I don't want him to. Wednesday is going to be rough. Gotta make today count.

Wish me luck!

Random Picture Challenge III

Random Picture Challenge III

30th Picture form August 2007

This is Abbie & my Ta-Da !!
I LOVE this picture!!


this is actually the 30th picture from my summer 2007 file
ignore the time stamp my camera reset itself for some reason lol


Link up here at 4 little men & Girly twins

Mixing His Old Life with His New Life

I'm just doing a lot of thinking today and I need to get it off my chest.
I have a lot of "what if's" wondering around my head.



I know that J has a new life (via military Recruit Training Command & A School for 7 months), things become different for him especially when he arrived home for the first time in almost a year.
In these past 7 months I've lost my apartment (which is starting to bother me but I am still ok with staying with family right now) and J's family moved to a condo complex.
His homecoming was different (maybe different like coming home from college and your room is a study).
He no longer has his own room. Nor does he have his favorite place in his parents old house, his work bench in the garage where he would hide away from stuff and relax. J cannot seem to become comfortable right now in his own home because it feels strange to him. I know this is natural but I fear he is mixing me into his uncomfortable mix.

He's a little hot and cold with me too... one minute he wants a future with me and one minute he's saying
"You could come down with me to Gulfport, but then I would have to change ALL of my paperwork and that would be hard."

or when I was telling him I was afraid he was getting bored of having a civilian girlfriend he came back with
"not that I want to be single but I would really feel bad making you wait for me all this time again."
I said "but Baby I've been here waiting for you for 7 months what's another 9?" He touched my cheek softly and said "Ya, but you didn't take that one so well either."

I don't know how to explain to him that crying is just natural to me... being with him is natural to me too. I know I can not rush him into anything, not with my state right now... but I can wait for him... I can do anything to be right here when he gets home from deployment waiting for us to start our life together. He knows how badly I want a family. I told him way before he was even going into the Navy. and I don't push it on him because I know he's scared. But waiting for that is far well worth it. I cannot even wonder what it would be like without him in my life without tearing up.

Then there have been days where we lie in one another's arms and just love each other. Like nothing could be better than that feeling and he kisses me like he could never stop.

I tired to talk with him again last night on the matter and he promised we will talk before he reports back to Gulfport. I am praying he does not opt to leave me "because he feels bad for making me wait."
I'm actually frightened he will... and then my whole world could be shattered.

I am hoping to God this is just me over reacting.
I know his tie to home will be long. that is not a question.
But does he want his tie to me to be long?

The Lord Creates a Military Wife

The good Lord was creating a model for military wives and was into his sixth day of overtime when an angel appeared. She said," Lord, you seem to be having a lot of trouble with this one. What's wrong with the standard model?"

The Lord replied," Have you seen the specs on this order? She has to be completely independent, possess the qualities of both mother and father, be a perfect hostess for four to 40 with an hour notice, run on black coffee, handle every emergency imaginable without a manual, be able to carry on cheerfully, even if she is pregnant and has the flu, and she must have six pair of hands." The angel shook her head.

"Six pair of hands? No way!"The Lord continued. "Don't worry, we will make other military wives to help her. And we will give her an unusually strong heart so it can swell with pride in her husbands achievements, sustain the pain of separation, beat soundly when it is overworked and tired, and be large enough to say, "I understand" when she doesn't and "I love you" regardless."Lord," said the angel, touching his arm gently, "Go to bed and get some rest. You can finish this tomorrow."

"I can't stop now," Said the Lord. "I am so close to creating something unique. Already this model heals herself when she is sick, can put up six unexpected guests for the weekend, wave good-bye to her husband from a pier, a runway or a depot, and understand why it's important that he leave."

The angel circled the model of the military wife, looked at itclosely and sighed.

"It looks fine, but it's too soft." "She may look soft," replied the Lord, "but she had the strength of a lion. You would not believe what she can endure."Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the Lord's creation. "There's a leak," she announced. "Something is wrong with the construction. I'm not surprised that it has cracked. You are trying to put too much into this model."

The Lord appeared offended at the angel's lack of confidence. "What you see is not a leak," he said. "It's a tear."

"A tear? What is it there for?" asked the angel.

The Lord replied, "It's for joy, sadness, pain, disappointment, loneliness, pride and dedication to all the values that she and her husband hold dear."

"You are a genius!" exclaimed the angel.

The Lord looked puzzled and replied, "I didn't put it there."

~ Anon

I'm not a military wife yet, but I can relate....

To all you ladies that do it now inspire me for what my future may hold & help me through what I am going through even now. I can only hope to be as strong as you are if I will become one some day.

With all my Love,

Jessica Lynn

The simple things that make a girl happy.

he said he brought something back he thought I might like. He doesn't think it's that big of a deal but I love it. especially because It's got his initials.

He's home!!

I wanted to take pictures when he got home in the worst way but I gave him a few days before I bombarded him with the camera. We had a great night at the Elks yesterday so I'm going to post a couple great pics.

(don't mind the birds it's just J's nature) Brooke, Steve, Jason, Me and Bri in the back

These boys S, J, B take the most amazing pictures together!!

Even I look cool when I'm in a picture with them.

My baby and me. It feels so good to put my arms around him!! it was tooo long to wait!! but I can do it again if I have to!!

Tough w/ his glowing Navy sweatshirt!!

They all went to school together & they are all in the same place after years!!!

Random Picture Challenge #2

Random Picture Challenge from 4 little men and Mrs Ss

And Random picture...

JANUARY
picture #8


Mrs. Ss did a Then and now & I want to follow her lead ;


Then: January 2008

This is the only picture from January 08 in my Lap top.
this is my good friend K and I bringing in the New Year at Johnnies Tavern

Now; January 2009 picture # 8

I told H I needed a picture with the Christmas Tree.
For some reason, this year it took me till the first week of January to get a picture for Christmas by the tree.

I love these Random picture Challenges!! They are so much fun!! Thank you ladies!!

Murphy's Law

Why is it that when one thing goes wrong EVERYTHING goes wrong!!? I really am getting back to seeing the humor in things because I swear this family is related to Murphy and his law loves to mess with us!! *Laughing*

I admit it is my fault...
I didn't clean the bar last night so I need to go in early and do it... so I am waiting for my father to give me a ride down there and he spills something that NEEDS to be cleaned up right away minutes before we have to leave... Now I am sitting very patiently waiting for this to go away so I can go down and clean up my mess before I get in trouble.

Tick Tick Tick...


Please God please may you watch my father so he may put my car back on the road so I do not have to wait to be late anymore.

Is there a saint and a prayer for patients?

Fuel Pumps suck!!

"With your help,dear God, I'll try to stay strong...

and pray that his tie here at home will be long.

Still, "I know that the Navy will need him," I sigh

but we'll face it together, Dear Lord, you and I"

These last couple days have been pretty bliss... But they took a wrong turn yesterday. Unfortuntly, my car being in ICU and fuel pumpless is making both mine & J's lives a little unbarable. I wish my car would magically get back on the road so I didn't have to get stuck being in one place. We both have a tendincy to become smothered easily and carless made it happen easier. Dear God Please help my father find the motivation to finish her today so I can get out of town for a little.

This week so far.

Saturday Morning ~ Wake up to crazy amounts of snow in Hazzy Town... two hour drive to work in this snow?? Heck no!! I had to call out! So I spent some time with my Sheetz girls Mmmm Free Chia because my Sweet Cousin works there!!!

Remainder of the evening I made Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup and watched movies!!

Sunday morning drive to the Madsion Elks from Hazzy OMG!! it was like a winter wonderland!! I did get to 24 east but I didn't stop for Gas! I'm an idiot!! A helpped me put gas in it but she still didn't start.... Comence the day from Hadies

"Happy Jay Day"

hours are about to become minutes with my wait for my Seabees arrival in NJ
Can I jut tell you how EXTREMELY unbearably excited I am??
no Draw backs, Set backs, Hold backs, Hold overs!!! AH!!
He is on a plane RIGHT now!!
Thank you Uncle Sam!! so much for letting him get out of there and come here!!




I got a text from R today: "Happy Jay Day!!" She says!!
How Cute!!! J loves it!! He says "Ya! Today should be a holiday!!"

Thank you my CNGs!! <3 you!!
& REALLY I don't know what I would do with out you these days!!

Picture Challenge

Fun with Mrs. Staff Sergeant

Putting a face to a name

This is me, driving down the highway, probably somewhere between Pennsylvania and New Jersey! I get bored and play with the camera phone. with the right lighting I look cute. :-)

Home Coming!! Finally!!!

/təˈmɔroʊ, -ˈmɒroʊ/ Show Spelled Pronunciation My Seabee comes home Tomorrow!!

To mor row [tuh-mawr-oh, -mor-oh] Show IPA Pronunciation

–noun

1.	the day following today: Tomorrow is supposed to be sunny.

2.	a future period or time: the stars of tomorrow.

–adverb

3.	on the morrow; on the day following today: Come tomorrow at this same time.

4.	at some future time: We shall rest easy tomorrow if we work for peace today.

Random Picture Challenge

"Go to your MAY picture folder pick the 21st picture and post it on your blog!"
Than Link up with this page

Courtesy of Mrs Staff Sergeant & her friend at 4 Little Men and Girly Twins.

Jennifer and Ryan at Jen's Shore house toasting Memorial Day at the Beach!!
We drank ALOT of vodka that night!! & had lots of great Memorial Day weekend food. corn on the cob, steak, burgers, hot dogs, macaroni salad ... Got stuck in traffic!! Craziness!!! Thank you for for the Challenge Ladies!! It was fun!!

Share time go link up here

It is okay to hate a country I've never been to

I asked a friend why he's on yahoo more than I am

replied; My girlfriend is in Iraq so I keep my phone on yahoo messenger.

oh. I hate Iraq.

he said why do you hate it. Not like you've been there.

answer, it takes the ones I care about away from time to time.

You better get used to it so does Afgan, Korea, Germany, (list goes on but I remind him of Kuwait and he says ya that too)... Welcome to the military relationship.

I told him I'm completely fine with disliking the country and it's not the place I would visit anyways.

G says the same thing and pretty much backs up S... well he is right, I've been to Iraq twice and I don't have any anything against the county. sorta is the thing about the military relationship. you have to deal with being far away from your boyfriend.
Geez!! I'm not worried about that. I've had friends over seas since the damn war started. I've lasted 7 months already whats 6 to 9 more really?

I gotta tell ya the dry emotionless attitude that a military man can have is ANNOYING!! I've encountered it with friends and their girlfriends... they get this attitude and I've heard all the nightmares cause I've watched them in relationships and they have told me about their troubles because I can actually talk to them about it. when they find a girl that changes everything and they are no longer the emotionless.
Makes me a little weary of my relationship with J. J sorta had that attitude pre-Navy. the other day we had a 2 hour conversation but last night he was sorta short with me. I gave him a WHOA there buddy! I'm the girl who's been sitting tight here in the Civilian world on the pure chance that I can be here for you! don't give me the easily annoyed crap! He's coming home in less than a week now and I'm nervous. What if he gets home and realizes that he hasn't missed me at all as much as he thought he did? I mean two different worlds here... I'm fairly confident that I'm just over thinking the whole thing because in about 5 days J will be here.

I'm also certain that I need to hush my worries because the boy has not even left yet, let alone started combat training.

"With your help,dear God, I'll try to stay strong...
and pray that his tie here at home will be long.
Still, "I know that the navy will need him," I sigh
but we'll face it together, Dear Lord, you and I"

When Ghosts Get Frisky

My brother and I have always had a knack for the super natural. These things love us. my encounters make me a little nerous... because I can't really see them... but I do know when they are there and they have appeared to me in shadow form.

What I've so far learned in 2009. We must add to the "Rant"

There's lots to learn with a new year... and so far I've learned Lots... not really fantastic life moving knowledge at the most, but fun stuff :-)



I remembered that before the age of 9 I hung out with 7 boys... These boys were great friends and and through 20 years of different lives and a little bit of a reunion via Facebook we still have something to talk about! We are currently trying to figure out what our final conversation was... Kool aid, Hot box cars and kick ball probably.

20 years later you find out that even with the distance you still like the same cars, did basically the same dorky stuff in high school, and wonder what it would have been like if you hadn't lost touch.








every party should involve a game of Kings or Monopoly.














If you don't get to spend New Year's Eve with your Navy boyfriend (because he's a dummy) you'll end up catching a picture of some other girl watching the ball drop in Times Square in the arms of a sailor!! *sigh*









Jo's name ends with an uh, and I am so happy she was not in Colorado so I could spend New Years Eve with her and her family in the "Historic town of Milford"



& specking of Milford I learned a couple other things. Milford is about a mile away from Jersey and a mile away from New York. Port Jervis taught me about Admiral Nelson (Jo says its great i just liked the picture) & knock off Southern Comfort sucks!

When you Drink Alot with Jo at L and M's house and then spend the entire next day hanging out with Jo watching season 1 of "One Tree Hill" with a hang over you will not go hungry. Chef M makes sure of that and man he's a good cook!

Packing places in Port Jervis and probably everywhere but NJ sell individual bottles I bought 2 Strawberry Smirnoff Ice for $1.50 each. That stuff is TASTE-eeee!!!!!


A Night back in Jersey is worth millions especially when when spent with H & L


Living 80 steps from bar stool to bed will be missed when you have to hike up a hill in freezing cold weather.

you will be missed too when it snows and your neighbor has no one to drink with while shovling the dreaded drive way!!


You will Always be a regular at Johnnies Tavern once loved always loved!! God I miss that place.
God I miss Boonton!!

certian friends' boyfriends cause drama... and when your away from the drama long enough it's bigger when you have to be around it again. :-(

Every Military Man (or any man for that matter) has a teenager trapped inside him... You will be reminded of this when your Navy Boyfriend calls you up while drinking with his buddies and pleads you text him a picture of your boobs. With your agreement... you do so fully knowing that his single buddies now know what they look like and are jealous of your boyfriend and can't wait to meet you. Beware of the fully nude photos girls!! He probably will pin them to his helmet well combing the sandbox in the Middle East.

New York / New Jersey pizza does not have Wisconsin Cheese on it!!

PA is only boring if you have no one to hang out with!!! (where are you SAMMIE???)

Sheetz in Hazzy is almost as cool as Quick Check in Madison or WaWa in Little Egg Harbor. Exspecially when you are related to the counter girl! (then you get free coffee cards sweet!!)

Turkey Hill in Brodheadsville is full of Jersey girls!! I love it!!

that's all I got for now.

40 Tips for 2009

I got this forward in the email and I love it!! I have lots of goofy things to blog about and plenty of time. yay!! <3 J



40 Tips for Better Life in 2009

1. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

2. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to __________ today.'

4. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.

5. Buy a DVR and tape your late night shows and get more sleep.

6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2008.

7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, tai chi, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.

8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.

9. Dream more while you are awake.

10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.

12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.

14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

15. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.

18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'

26. Forgive everyone for everything.

27. What other people think of you is none of your business.

28. GOD heals almost everything.

29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

30. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

31. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

33. The best is yet to come.

34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

35. Do the right thing!

36. Call your family often.

37. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.

38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

39. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________.

40. Please Forward this to everyone you care about.

May your troubles be less, May your blessings be more, May nothing but happiness come through your door!

Happy New Year!