Thinking about how I could have been better.

Random Thanks for Thanksgiving 2008

Tuesday night I stopped at the supermarket to pick up some dishwasher fluid for my Uncle's house. While there I was looking around for something I could have for lunch. The things you miss the most when you don't have your own stove are just as simple as Grilled Cheese. Well I figured I would not be making that for my lunch on Wednesday because even though I could use Uncle C's Stove to make the Grilled Cheese, It wouldn't be great for lunch the next day... so I got some tuna fish and the dishwasher fluid and headed back to the house. When I made it inside to my wonder that for dinner they had made Grilled Cheese sandwiches and tomato soup!!! I was ecstatic!! I told my cousins they made my night because I was aching for Tomato soup and Grilled Cheese!! I am so Thankful for Grilled Cheese.

Today was a fantastic. I love Thanksgiving where ever I am! I also shared some fantastic news with my cousin and Aunt. A friend that we had made at a family reunion 2 years ago in LBI had received a heart and was recovering in the hospital. we were all so happy for Joe. At Uncle C's house we all had a gathering. I had everyone write down what we were thankful for with W helping out with making sure it got done and it was a big hit! I even got a hug and a thank you from Uncle C for coming to dinner and suggesting that we all do Thank yous like Aunt D had started years ago. We had great food, lots of fun, Uno, pictures and desserts.

My baby is coming home soon!! He should be graduating in 13 days and on his way home!! I am so way beyond excited I cannot contain myself!! He and I talked for a long time tonight!! I cannot wait!!

A Thanksgiving Tradition of Thankyou.

Thankyou’s are not always remembered as we run on by in our daily lives so it is very important that we stop and remind ourselves and the people around us what we are thankful for. A long time family Tradition on Thanksgiving at Grandpa L & Grandmom Maryanne’s home is not only good food and good family fun. It also consists of writing down what we are thankful for and reading our thanks at the dinner table. I think My Aunt Debbie started it, and when the night is over she takes them home and saves them in a scrape book for our future selves and our kids’ kids to read. This year we will not be at Grandpa and Grandmom’s home due to health complications but I would still like the carry on the tradition and send Grandmom and Grandpa our what I am thankful for”’s.


I am thankful for my family and how loving, supportive, and close we have all become. I am not only grateful but also honored to have the friends and family I have in my life. I appreciate the fact that I have the pleasure still at 29 years if age that lots of people even younger than I am do not have; to have my grandparents around so I can call them up and tell them I love them or take a day and visit just for a hug. I am grateful that even though they say you can never change a man that a man can change and be the man I had hoped he would be years before. I am thankful for God, my country and the love that surrounds us all. It is good to be thankful not only today but all year round.

Pumpkin Pie spice coffee creamer!! Yum yum!!

This stuff is Great in coffee! I love it and it makes me very happy! I don't want the season to end this stuff is so fantastic!!

My HTML is screwed up on Blogspot is there anyone who can help? ?

My HTML is screwed up on Blogspot is there anyone who can help? ?
On some computers my blog will not even come up I get an error message
right off the bat that says
" Internet explorer cannot open the internet site http://jessicalynn1121.blogspot.com/.
Operation aborted. " then it goes to the cannot find this site page so
do I have a cookie or something in my HTML and how would I go about
finding it?

also, my pictures and gadgets that are supposed to be on the right of
my posts are some how showing on the bottom of my page now when they
used to be the correct way i have them placed on the right side of my
posts. how do i figure out how to change that back to the original
settings? i'm sure this also is a HTML error.


if you can help please do its driving me crazy!!


Kind Regards,
JLC

My Grandfather still defines Faith even though he left us in 2006

Today like most Sundays this month I made it to church. I made it to the eleven o’clock service this time, which was Grandma and Grandpa’s usual service. It’s quieter and there is an elder crowd than the 9 am service. Odd thing though today, I was not alone in the pew, I grabbed a bulletin and sat down, I had actually taken two. So I think Grandpa was sitting beside me at the service today.

After the service a couple of folks recognized me and said hello to me. The ones who did not asked my name. “My name is Jessica”, I told them. “I’m Cal and Marie’s granddaughter.” They were so happy to see me and had questions about Grandma. One man came up and said “You are talking to a Coats. Her grandfather was a fantastic man; he in himself was the definition of faith!” He exclaimed. I thanked him through some tears. I was so honored that I was from the same family of a man that is spoken so highly of especially from some folks that I am not really sure who they are. I am sure I will learn everyone’s names soon again but I could not remember them now. She told me that when she became a member of the church that Grandma and Grandpa showed her the ropes. He had helped her a lot. I left there this afternoon so proud and honored by the words of these folks. I would love to be just like Grandpa. In many ways I am, but he moved so many people and so many lives that his reputation precedes him. Anyone who knew his has fantastic things to say about him not just in the church, but in the community and in the Masonic world as well. His work is still being done and he left us the summer of 2006. I can only hope to be half as good as my Grandpa. It is such an honor to think of him these days and this day in particular.

Today we also had Communion. One more memory I have to share about my church and Grandparents is one about Holy Communion. Grandma used to do the flowers in the back. Every Sunday that church did communion Grandma would come home with the leftover bread and grape juice. That was always a nice treat. I always felt a little silly that we had the body and blood of Christ in our refrigerator but it was always really yummy. Also the smell of fresh cut flowers in the back room and the coffee cans that were piled in Grandma’s house so she could put the flowers and Grandpa could run them to the people that they were set aside for after the service.

My grandparents were very special to the church and they are so loved there and very much missed. I can only hope to be that strongly connected to my faith and my church family. I am working on it. It is week 4 now and I have not missed a service. I love getting back to my roots it feels good.
~ JLC

All I want for Christmas

Yesterday was my birthday and I got through it with my friends. Its good to have good friends and good times. My brother, his girlfriend and my father even came out to see me. it was so nice! I even got a hang over for my birthday. lol. The only thing I didn't get was my baby home with me or me there with him. that's really all I wanted for my birthday. Thanks to my great friends though even though he wasn't home with me I still had a fantastic Birthday!!!

So now all I Want for Christmas is to see J. I'm happy to report that is what I will get. :-P Oh and I wouldn't mind a Ring either.

Last Year of my 20s starts Today.

I was born on Wednesday the day beore Thanksgiving 1979. The last year of my 20's starts today. Weird that I am going to be Thirty in a year. I guess its time to step up and grow up! But I promise this year will go out with a bang!!
Happy Birthday!



21 November 1979
Your date of conception was on or about 28 February 1979 which was a Wednesday.

You were born on a Wednesday
under the astrological sign Scorpio.
Your Life path number is 4.

Your fortune cookie reads:
Plan for many pleasures ahead.

Life Path Compatibility:
You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 4, 8, 11 & 22.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 6 & 7.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 1, 3, 5 & 9.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2444198.5.
The golden number for 1979 is 4.
The epact number for 1979 is 2.
The year 1979 was not a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 1/28/1979 and ending 2/15/1980.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Goat.

Your Native American Zodiac sign is Snake; your plant is Thistle.

You were born in the Egyptian month of Tyby, the first month of the season of Poret (Emergence - Fertile soil).

Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 1 Kislev 5740.
Or if you were born after sundown then the date is 2 Kislev 5740.

The Mayan Calendar long count date of your birthday is 12.18.6.7.14 which is
12 baktun 18 katun 6 tun 7 uinal 14 kin

The Hijra (Islamic Calendar) date of your birth is Wednsday, 1 Muharram 1400 (1400-1-1).

The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 15 April 1979.
The date of Orthodox Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 22 April 1979.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 28 February 1979.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 3 June 1979.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 10 June 1979.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Saturday, 22 September 1979.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Thursday, 12 April 1979.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 27 February 1979.

As of 11/21/2008 10:44:36 AM EST
You are 29 years old.
You are 348 months old.
You are 1,513 weeks old.
You are 10,593 days old.
You are 254,242 hours old.
You are 15,254,564 minutes old.
You are 915,273,876 seconds old.

Celebrities who share your birthday:
Ken Griffey, Jr. (1969) Troy Aikman (1966) Bj”rk (1965)
Goldie Hawn (1945) Harold Ramis (1944) Juliet Mills (1941)
Marlo Thomas (1938) Joseph Campanella (1927) Stan Musial (1920)
Rene Magritte (1898) William Beaumont (1785) Voltaire (1694)

Top songs of 1979
My Sharona by The Knack Bad Girls by Donna Summer
Da Ya Think I'm Sexy? by Rod Stewart Reunited by Peaches & Herb
Hot Stuff by Donna Summer I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor
Escape (The Pina Colada Song) by Rupert Holmes Ring My Bell by Anita Ward
Babe by Styx Too Much Heaven by Bee Gees

Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 4.14598825831703 years old. (You're still chasing cats!)

Your lucky day is Tuesday.
Your lucky number is 9 & 11.
Your ruling planet(s) is Mars & Pluto.
Your lucky dates are 1st, 10th, 19th, 28th.
Your opposition sign is Taurus.
Your opposition number(s) is 6.

Today is not one of your lucky days!

There are 365 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 30 candles.

Those 30 candles produce 30 BTUs,
or 7,560 calories of heat (that's only 7.5600 food Calories!) .
You can boil 3.43 US ounces of water with that many candles.


In 1979 there were approximately 3.1 million births in the US.
In 1979 the US population was approximately 203,302,031 people, 57.4 persons per square mile.
In 1979 in the US there were approximately 2,152,662 marriages (10.1%) and 1,036,000 divorces (4.9%)
In 1979 in the US there were approximately 1,921,000 deaths (9.5 per 1000)
In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.
In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.

In 1979 the population of Australia was approximately 14,602,481.
In 1979 there were approximately 223,129 births in Australia.
In 1979 in Australia there were approximately 104,396 marriages and 37,854 divorces.
In 1979 in Australia there were approximately 106,568 deaths.


Your birthstone is Citrine

The Mystical properties of Citrine

Citrine is said to help one connect with Spirit.
Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)

Yellow Topaz, Pearl, Diamond

Your birth tree is

Chestnut Tree, the Honesty
Of unusual beauty, does not want to impress, well-developed sense of justice, vivacious, interested, a born diplomat, but irritable and sensitive in company, often due to a lack of self-confidence, acts sometimes superior, feels not understood, loves only once, has difficulties in finding a partner.



There are 34 days till Christmas 2008!
There are 47 days till Orthodox Christmas!

The moon's phase on the day you were
born was waxing crescent.

does it get easier to except?? Almost 29, 1 year away from 30.

Talking to an angel's Mother

Steph, Me, & Jayson Samuel Conrad 1983 - 2006


Sunday Church as always was welcoming. I said hellos to everyone at the service and after the service went to Rhoda Hall for the Sunday Morning Brunch. I sat and Talked with Mrs. C for hours over coffee, memories and stories galore. I even heard about Jayson's Potty Training Horrors. Mrs. C and Jayson's sister and father, My brother and I all have a common Bond with one another. k and my Grandpa passed 4 days before Jayson that year so my brother and I had it rough just like they did. K and I lost a good friend and a foundation all in one week. Jayson's family lost a son, grandson, a brother, cousin, and a best friend. It eases my mind a little because I know that Jayson and Grandpa are out there doing work for Heaven now, and Grandpa is helping Jayson maybe just as much as Jayson is helping Grandpa. I told Mrs. C that I want to start coming over on Friday nights so we can Watch one of J's favorite Shows, Ghost Whisperer together. I shared some of my favorite parts of J and my friendship with Mrs. C that day. I think it was amusing that J and I had the same taste in guys, but I always got them because because they were straight. lucky for me my Navy boy was not J's type so we never had a fight over him.
God I miss Jayson!

Is this day over??

What the Heck happened to TGIF?

Gez!! I need a drink and I can't even have one because as soon as I get to the Elks Club I start working... where as I usually end up Drinking when I go down there on Fridays!!!

Is it December yet? I am so ready for this month to be over. Can we just skip my birthday and Thanksgiving right now?? I'll give in for the rest of the holiday madiness but only because that is what J is coming home for!!

~ J

am I a bad daughter?

I love my mother dearly, but sadly my love for her does not help us with getting along. It is a push and pull relationship and it seems even harder that we will never seem to understand.Like most mothers she is always right. but she is so right that she will fight to the death on a topic that is not even worth fighting for. she is so right that she will say things like I'm just your birth mother because you don't understand me and that is ok... and other things even meaner. this forces me to say I'm sorry when I am not... and when she won't stop pushing I will walk away... does this make me a bad daughter? I can not even imagine doing such a thing when I am a mother... and I have even thought about walking away completely. She constantly tells me that No one understands her except for strangers and that her family never will... So do I just give up? I do pray for a better relationship with my parents and I will fight until I get it there... but it hurts sometimes...

Just needed to vent.
I promised in my To Do List that I will "Be more grateful for my family than I already am."
I am trying hard.

Sunday Morning Church, It was nice to be home.

It has been a goal of mine to start going back to church. No matter where I am I want to make it to a service on Sundays. This is my second Sunday in a row so I think I am doing good with my goal. There are so many days these last couple of months I had promised and promised myself I would go because I needed to pray and I needed to badly.

It's always good to go home.

I went to my church CUMC and I found home. The smiling faces and the welcoming I received warmed me. I don't go there often because it is hard for me not to see Grandma and Grandpa C there. but it doesn't matter. The two of them are part of the church. Grandpa will always be there for me and it will always be home. The sermon was all about being thankful for who you are and what you have and saying thank you for it. I always thank God for the things I have and the people I know.

And the Prayers. I prayed for Grandmom and Pop Pop and the long year this family has had. I prayed for J and his family and the trials his family has had this year. Uncle C and Aunt F and the gang. And always in my prayers Grandma C, Aunt G, and the rest of the family out west. all my cousins and extended family and that their lives will work out with his help. for the boys out in Iraq and the boys that are on their home bases in the states and working hard here.
That all would be okay and if it will not please give us the stength to pull through. and my daily thank you's for a fantastic family and wonderful people as friends.

I have a lot to be thankful for.

~ Jessica Lynn

Where's the sun?

This is totally random, but I've noticed that the sun hasn't been out in NJ or PA since November 4th. I'm waiting for it! I wanna see if my sun glasses look good with my new haircut.

God Knows I needed this hair cut!!

My hair was soooooo long and it was driving me crazy!! so I decided that Yesterday was the day!! I drove into Madison and got my hair cut by a guy named Will wearing an Iron Maiden Tee Shirt. I love it!!!

Before



After

If I could have anything for my birthday it would be to go to Texas and see my baby. It's only 15 days away.

A personal To do list.

Moving forward, I am also not happy with my status. I have been in a little bit of a rut and it is time I find my way out. I have already started saying I want to do these things so I will now make a list of the things I will do:

What I will do now.

· Be proud of who I am and believe in myself… but just enough to get by… I don’t want to be too proud. lol
· Not worry too much and say things like I don’t want.
· Move forward and do the things I am promising MYSELF I will do.
· Be humble, because I am not in the position to be proud and stuck up.
· Go to church more and say more prayers.
· Get back to the lucky, happy and free girl that I was instead of this bitter and frighten person I have become.
· Be more grateful for my family than I already am.
· Call my grandparents and parents as much as I can
· Acknowledge I miss Grandpa C, but except he is in a better place and move forward for him and except that I can do better.
· Write Grandma C all the time. Always tell her I love her!!
· Hang out with my brother more often and learn to have a good conversation with him. Avoid completely the words he used on me last week: Stuck up and “thinking I am better than him.” But also remember he said them because I do not want to hear them from him again. Also let my brother know that he means the world to me and I believe in him more than anything in this world.
· Learn something knew every day and find something that will make me happy everyday so I spend less time dwelling on the bad. The little things still make me happy.
· Go to the Colorado Café more. Line dancing helps me keep my weight down, blood flowing and endorphins moving!!
· Study hard. I will pass this P & C Insurance Exam. I will I will
· Look for a second and maybe a third job
· Search the Pocono Record, Daily Record, @ the Somerset Courier for a new apartment/ rooms for rent.
· Start jogging and working on my upper body strength (I have none)
· Eat better
· Work on my alcohol tolerance (meaning I don’t want one anymore)
· Find a fool proof and Jess proof way to quit smoking. (No more excuses set a date and move forward!!)
· Read more books.
· Stand up for what I believe and know that it is better to hold my head up high.

I can only move forward now.
Looking back will make me regress.
It all will be better soon.

McCain said it best last night

I am unhappy with the results and I fear for this country as I have feared for this country for sometime. I love the United States of America with all my heart; all she has to offer, and all she has been and will be to come. I do fear what is to come. Obama cannot do all he has promised. I stand by what is true and I am tired of looking at our flag with tears. This country is still young and she showed her age yesterday. We must be humble, McCain was a gentleman until the end and he tells us we must move forward and stand by the greatest country in the world our United States of America and her new president. If we listen we will be just as just as he and our country will have a chance at becoming better. Speaking ill of the results will only make us look worse. I think that standing by McCain as he stands by our country is our best bet. So humbled I will be. I will pray and Hope for the best and do what I know how to do; Be proud to be an American and support her and her troops no matter what the cost.

I voted and I am proud

thank goodness Monday is over.

What a weekend and I feel like it hasn’t ended quite yet. It all started with the lovely Friday of Halloween. I woke up late in Pa and just threw clothes on and ran out the door. I made it with minutes to spare and changed. Thank goodness there was not a lot of traffic.

We didn’t get a lot of kids here at Allstate, only one little cheerleader girl. She got candy and a coloring book. Hope she liked it. The only other costumes we got were the toy store people. They all dressed up like movie theater candy boxes. They looked great. The day was not long at all. I did however get out closer to 6 pm because of running around.

I hate I.O. they were making me drop off my own cable boxes so I would not get charged for the next two weeks of cable I have not been watching. Their dumb office was hard to find and when I finally did find it they had been closed for 2 hours. Sigh so I stopped by the NJ bar and grill to see Pat because he was fairly close to the IO place. I dropped off the cable boxes at Pat's apartment and then had some beers. I love hanging with the Randolph kids!! Chris was there. we talked baseball, football, hockey and back in the day. Jeff showed up in a cow suit. E is a cop (wow!!) Mike was the Dark Night's joker. Mike k was a coors light bottle cap. and they all bought me beers and shots until I couldn't drive home. 2 am rolled around and I was curling up on P's love seat only to be woken up at the crack of dawn by C so I could, as promised pre shots, give him a ride to Wayne so he could catch a 7 am bus with his hockey boys. OOOOH 7 am came quick. I got lost in Wayne and then when I finally got back to Dad's house I fell into a deep sleep until 3 pm that afternoon. I got woken up by Grandmom with not so good news. I still have some issues trying to figure out how I feel about it. I will have to post on a later date what is going on. I talked with the brother's GF. She helped me feel better about everything and assured me that she would have K call Grandmom ASAP on Sunday. I made my way back to Pa that evening. I actually got to the house when no one was home. i called Uncle Chris and he said I could build a fire and to watch out for the ginny hens next door. they're territorial. I pulled up the internet in my car and read Make Mine a Mojito and the Student and the Solider the two blogs that make me happy. Everyone arrived home with in the half hour. We continued the evening watching talking cat videos on Utube and i showed them my new favorite song:The Zac Brown Band Chicken Fried.
Sunday Morning Emmet and I went to his church on the hill. I cried like I always do when I go to church these days. I have since Grandpa C passed in 2006. I can't go without tearing up. It was very nice though and I got to take communion which helped me feel good. it was nice to partake and the church has lots of people that where extremely friendly and welcoming. Then on to the Madison Elks to bartend Football Sunday. Hells ya Giants!! Sorry Dallas... your State of Texas took my boyfriend away from me until December and I miss him!! Monday was a pain. I woke up early and Tried to get my cable boxes but failed. P was not home. I spilled coffee all over my lap and was tired and shot out all day. only Good thing that came out of Monday was gas for $2.25 and talking to my Seabee. glad its over and on to the elections!!

a little bit of chicken fried

I love this Song!!!