Bring on 2009!!!

Minus 1 New Years Kiss (due to draw Navy draw backs & J better get his butt home soon so we can pretend it is Christmas and New Years Eve for him) I am more than ready for that ball to drop in Times Square!

I did a lot of Fearing in 2007 & 2008... Which is not me at all... I am working hard to find me again.. so this year I promise to become more of myself. Less Worrying, More Happiness... The past is over and I must look forward to a New Year. New trials... New Errors... New wonderful things, sunny skies and things that will make me cry or make me smile & an easier way to get through them. I am going to work extra hard on my personal to do list, which I already have a head start on! I really have a good out look on 2009! Bring her on!!!

Please Help my Family, J & his family, and my friend's families do the same and one little personal prayer goes out for Mandy and her Hubbie and also this family!

I love you and will see you all next year!!!

All My Love,

Jessica Lynn

Looking back, moving forward

Just a quick thought. Ever go back and read who you were just a couple months before and realize that even in 4 or 5 months you are pretty different? I don’t know if I am better today but I am defiantly stronger and looking at my weak spots as an advantage… So I need work still… but I will be okay and that is the biggest thing that matters. 2009 is less than a week away. The bad dreams of 2008 will be out the doors. Wherever I am this New Year’s I want to run out to my car and open all the doors… J’s mother says that is the way to get rid of the bad luck and start fresh and new!! I can’t wait for the New Year!! I however think that I have grown stronger and can take on a lot of things now! Can’t be the person you are without your past. It makes you who you are.
<3 J

My Saturday after Christmas, and today

My day yesterday was lonnngg. I've been pretty sick since Christmas (Santa Decided to add one more bad thing to my list darn that man in red) and I had to work the bar yesterday at the Elks club. I was sneezing every 5 minutes, blowing my nose and washing my hands every 7 minutes. but it was a cool day. Jerry, one of our members, came down and brought me a bag of orange cough drops and a bottle of Advil. It was super sweet of him. a couple girls came down from the American Legion (another private club that consists of veterans and sons and daughters of veterans) the girls were playing the pull tab machines (pull tabs are like scratch off tickets except they pull the tabs off instead of scratching) They couldn't stop winning. it was amazing. they pulled about 700 and tipped me 10%. I was at loss for words. I have no luck on that stupid machine lol. but apparently at the American Legion its common for the players to tip the bartender 10%. WoW! We ended the evening with about 7 of us watching the "Chainsaw Massacre". lol try that in a public bar. Tell ya the truth I hate the movie... J used to make me watch it all the freakin time~~ He's a Horror movie fanatic and I never watch tthem because I get vivid nightmares... but it was fun to have a movie night none the less.



I got my 12 year old cousin to help me fold laundry. He's smart... he pretends he doesn't know how to do things but he really does. Typical 12 year old persona. but I feel I got the upper hand because he helped me. yay me! He really does love me. Sometimes I wonder! He's a good boy though!

So lets see what this day has in store for me. :-)

The Rant

This thing has gone for a while so I suppose it's time to place it in my blog. we're talking a 2 years running and I have to add... just need some time to get my cooky self back so if ya can read it... I bid ya good luck ;-)

The rant ....

FLIRTING!!! ST Patty’s DAY!!!! Green Clothes!! Shots!!! Tattoos!!! Sunglasses! Flip Flops, My new Ballet flats, hiking boots, fuck me boots! Cowboy boots,....Colorado.... the state, the ..Rocky Mountains.., living in different places! Lady Bugs, butterflies, Magic, My Friends, My family, Black and White Photos, History, War Stories, WWII, what makes people tick! Falling in love! Text messages, blasting the ....Taylor.... swift CD in Christine's car!! Having too much fun! Men in uniform, Living life! Cough surfing! Road Tripping! ....Colorado.... cafe! Country line dancing, dancing! Singing! Writing poetry! Staying awake until the sun comes up! Dreams! Wishing! Stars! Drunk-dialing! Learning that I said a stupid thing that was so fucking funny! Being a kid! Having crazy energy! THE ....BOONTON AVE.... LOVE SHACK!!! The sign over my bed that says "Always kiss me Goodnight", the death machine with Kathy and Jeff! Yelling "Yay Bill!!" and "Yay patty!!" at the top of my lungs so everyone in the bar knows Bill and Patty are there! Being loud in general! The beach! LBI! TUCKERTON! Wine tasting! Rich Meyer Concerts (especially last Saturday), again Having TOO MUCH FUN!!! New cars, making people laugh, sunsets, Flirting, Kissing, cuddling! Making a fool outta myself. Wondering if I'm allowed to go back into Johnnies the next day! Jamming in the Madison Train station. Poor Herbies. Singing while Hogie or Johnny plays the guitar. Shamrocks!! Post cards. Snail mail! Lots of pictures! Children! Being a child at heart! I LOVE KATHY!! Smiling! Laughing! Laughing so hard that I cry! Making Christine laugh when she is grumpy! Singing Rise and Shine in the morning! Singing you is my sunshine in the morning for Christine! Having coffee waiting for me in the morning! Saying THANK YOU! Nice people! Being Sarcastic! Nothing too serious. Bartending! Stories, Campfires, Bon Fires, Back yard burns. Blasting music while I’m driving! St. Patty's day parade!!! Parade Day in ....Morristown..... Peace, Love, & Yay!!!! Standing up and holding on the back of a jeep while it’s going 50 miles on a winding road! Riding in the bed of a pick up truck! The Wildwood ELKS convention! Wild Irish weekend! Jennifer not letting me pet her stupid Ginny Pig! Spelling things wrong! Telling Jen I would make out with her if she didn't stop crying while slow dancing to SUPER NOVA!!! PURPLE BUNNIES! Drinking Jack with Jess at Johnny's place in ....Morristown.... while playing football and soccer! Doing Shots with Bill, Patty, Brendan, Kathy, Doug, Colleen, Scott, and Heather, Chris, Mark, Mike Ford, Jason, Bry... (This list just gets longer and longer). BEER PONG!!! CARBOMBS!!!! Drinking with the family! Family parties! Okay I’ll stop for now! Heather's birthday in SEA SIDE even though EDDY was an ass! Cheering every time we drink! "THE WALLS IN THE MALL ARE TOTALLY TOTALLY TALL!” BIG ....LONG.. ..ISLAND.... ICE TEAS WITH COLLEEN! Playing the "who's more sober" game with the rental Sea bring convertible. Grandma's kitchen. Grandpa's house on the Lagoon! I miss the Jessica Lynn Boat! My cousins! Getting letters from Grandma Beth! Telling Kenny he is my favorite brother and him saying "Jess I'm your only brother!” I LOVE MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY!!! Fire places. Taking a picture of Grandpa's Fire place and Grandpa asking "do you look at the picture of my fire place when you are cold to warm you up?" Shamrock stickers! Halloween! Football! The Giants! "What can big blue do for you?!!" Making fun of Colleen and my Grandparents for being Eagles fans (EWWWWWW)! Being a proud METS fan!!! The Trials and tributes of being a human being! Life! Being in High school with Abbie! Abbie and My "science notes" and love lists! Not being able to stop myself from adding on to this list! Having the time of my life! Riding the shopping carts while at Wal-Mart or target with Jenn and Christine! The magic appearing out of no where Soccer Ball! Going shopping with Kathy and Finding the Coolest clothes ever. I love my friends!!! Singing really loud in the Wal-Mart parking lot and embarrassing my friends! Ringing the bell at CVS to tell the person at the counter that ABBIE had her period! Z's with Abbie, Tim and John! Friends that tell me they can't take me anywhere because I know someone every where they take me. I repeat: "having toooooo much fun!!!" Kissing. Seeing people I haven't seen in 9 years. "Wanna ride bikes??" Morristown St. Patty's day parade! Bag pipers. The stories of what I can't remember never happened last night. Calling things stupid!!! Stupid stupid STUPID! Someone making me wish the weekend wouldn't come. I repeat: "having toooooo much fun!!!" Yay shuffle board! Drunk dialing. Not having to say goodbye! Trying to convince him that the Air Force wouldn't find him if I hid him in my room. My deep Breath. Abra-Klllarney!!!!! Confussment! 1, 2, 3 sheets to the wind!!!! Beer Pong! Grandma Beth calling me from an Irish bar on St. Patrick's Day Saying "top of the morning to ya!" and telling me the corn beef and cabbage was great! REPEAT My Grandmother did that. "SUPERFLUOUS!" Going on sabbatical. Trying to figure out if I actually wrote that caption under the picture of me kissing the Jameson bottle... Did I??? Seriously? Cause I don't remember. Tomorrow being another day. Talking to Lee at the laundry mat. Lady bugs. Seeing Robins for the first time after the new year (First sign of spring) in the middle of the stupid snow storm on Friday that came 2 days after I was sitting on my porch wearing flip flops(BTW I am STILL pissed about that!) . Talking to Jen as we played on myspace and put old pictures of us and our friends on our comments. Jen: "Jessica! Where are you?!?!" Jessica from the roof of the house where she hid from Jen: "I'm over here!!!" Kiss me I'm Irish and shamrock stickers on my bed room wall. Date dotting everyone with yellow stickers that say "..17 March 2007.." My NEW JERSEY DEVILS baseball hat. Being the Irish triplets with Colleen and Alexis at Kathy's St Patty's day party last night. Colleen and I flooring All Mighty Beer Pong Champ Bill Potato When WE BEAT him and Bryan. WHOO HOOO!!! Mrs. Potato head. :-) Smiley Faces :-P Telling People About the gold fish named Jack, Jim, Johnnie, Jose'... I want my Shamrock beads back. The day after! Sleeping until ..2:30pm.. and still being tired enough to go to bed tonight. <~~~~ (not so much! Jess had nightmares...) those . . .'s that are just so fun to end every sentence with... !!! Taking the A.D.D. test and passing with flying colors. Colleen! I changed my mind! I want the GREEN bike!!! R.O.Y. B.I.F.F. YaY Bill's not gay rainbow, but Colorful rainbow purple bunnie without the Green so Colleen can't steal all the colors for her bike Abra-killarney/bliink yay Card! Um... am I writing this down right??? Focused A.D.D. Blink Blink Blink Blink "isms" I love "Isms" Oh the Magic of Hoboken! The perfect night for ....Madison..... Missing Sweet Dreams and Longing for ....Colorado..... Watching a storm coming in from miles away. My ....Colorado.... ..Rocky Mountains... "Move to ....Florida...., then they can see what a real hurricane (HJ) is" Being Free Spirited. Staying up all night because the air is crisp and the fire is burning. Sitting on the Morristown Green By the fountain and feeding the sparrows. FLIP FLOPS! Absolute Freedom. Being on the road. CBGB's, Lion's Den, Flannerys NYC. Being comfortable with my sexuality while watching a Guns and Roses Tribute band! Breaking the 12 hours rule. Yes! I WAS awake on Saturday night!!! Mike and I sucking at hiding Easter Eggs! Kick ball with the cousins! Lara is a lean mean Kickball playing machine!! Grandpop telling Aunt Debbie I wasn't going home, and No she can not sleep at your house she’s staying here!" I love you Grandpa you're funny!!! My New Jersey Sweatshirt Stealing Lifesavers from the ....Cheesequack.. ..Garden.... state Rest stop... oh my! The New Jersey Devil Dressing up as the Easter bunny to Give Christine an Easter present. "Shhhh! don't tell him (NJ devil) he looks stupid with Bunny ears Christine! He knows where I sleep! lol! "There is no logic or anything to hold me back if I'm running away! Is that not the point of Running away??" Dempsey's Pub! Did you know it coats $1.00 per karaoke song, and 11 cent for sweet and sour sauce in ....Manhattan....? Its lovely weather we are having outside (during our 4/15 nor’easter)! Let’s look on the bright side; it’s Purifying! When the sun comes out again we will appreciate it more than we ever have before! If someone kills you, we'll kill them and they won't find the body! Me: What are you going to do with my body? Them: We'll Stuff it and prop you in our living room on a stool we stole from Johnnies! Me: I love you guys!!! CAN I SEE YOUR ID? "Okay so the Johnnies burgers are the best burgers EVER! Who cares if they are micro waved!? "You're not taken; but there's a down payment on you!" ~ The roommate! So totally addicted to Heroes, So not fair! Me looking at a truck “You buying it for your husband?" says the brother of the guy who’s selling "Do I look married? Do you see a ring on my finger!!?" said me: Why can a girl not buy a truck?! Bec:"He gave me a drawer in his apartment after only being in the relationship for a week! Don't you think that's moving too fast? And he left a note on his Yankee tickets saying he'd rather be with me!" Me: "Wow! You must be good in Bed!" Bec: "well I'm not gonna lie!" My green sneakers Rock! Sorry ....Col.... it doesn’t fit on the page anymore it has to be squished in this box! Three Generations at Johnnies, my mother making ME (Have you met me?) Look conservative... What is that all about???!! Calling Becky Becs and her saying AWWW No one calls me that anymore!! :-) Straddling Paulo's roof because I was too scared to move... being a badminton Champion... lol! FAR FROM IT! Cosmo's With Brendan and Becs at the Cigar bar last night! Taking Colleen to get her hair cut aw I was mom for an hour lol! Christine called out of work??? What has gotten into her (Tony has!!) ....Col.... not minding 35yr olds hitting on her, but Bill does. not being a braves fan like Colleen but still going to Turner field before she did. dressing up like a school girl and going to Colorado Cafe. getting dirty looks from chicks we don't know just because we look hot! Telling Mark thank you just because. not having to sleep on the floor of his empty apartment because he wouldn't make me do that. Leaving Atlanta at 11am and getting to Boonton at 3:30 am. did I mention he lives in the same state as me? 15hours in the car and we still like each other :-)Not having to say goodbye for another month. not having to be stuck to a phone anymore. Kelly and Bryan are engaged! FYI that stupid bowling game sucks. Heather telling her friend Jess she was coming to my big birthday party in the city so her boyfriend could surprise her, and Jess bought a new dress to come to my party. Having a beer at Johnnies BECAUSE I REALLY NEEDED ONE!!!!! Giants are 6 wins and one loss!!!!! Mark making fun of Kelly for turning 30 when he's already 33.You know why I love him? because we can debate the religious beliefs of a carnival fish! loosing the flyer for the haunted thing just to Drive around the block with Jenn, Alexis and Mark. laying down and finding the flyer with my toes a couple hours later.hangover cure = Hannah Montana and the Disney Channel ALL Saturday! needing a break from the Freaky Full Moon Fridays of December! Wine Glasses 4 H&J zero!! the wine glasses are winning! playing with the poetry magnets on H&J's Fridge! becoming a freaky full moon werewolf girlfriend and still having a good boyfriend after the fact. blaming the massive amounts of tears ..ing to drink at 3pm and not stopping until 4 am... throwing awesome parties with H! warming up the beer pong arm eh Scott? its a wonderful life/hot chocolate and Bailey's. Heather getting brandy instead of Bailey's because they so {don't} look the same to me! Loosing one of the Piteto's at yet another drunken party, good one Tom! breaking a wine glass and forgetting my purse at the sushi place... lol! i was not drunk!!! getting random phone calls from old friends that want you to work with them. NO MORE FREAKY FULL MOON FRIDAYS PLEASE!!!!!! going to the mall with the crazy German jo jo! jojo has a new middle name because he never had one before he met me. its officially crazy, but it's in German. "No! No! Buster!! Don't drink the water!" not allowed to talk to the guys at the bar... its an ABC law. "What do you mean you hung out with the beer pong neighbors... but but! it is not right we can only wave to them from afar! i feel like we're breaking the rules here... " Smitten! ah! we have a comedian here! what'd ya have a clown for breakfast this morning??" ~ Lake house 3 wine glasses bit the dust last night curiousity of Jess and Yellow tail Chard. Lots of cookies from the blink blink guy upstairs.drinking shoes are bad! really really bad!"Hay blinky were talkin to you... you cant park here!" ~col "he used to work at back in time for a bagel!"~ H Mark won't admit it but he loves the cat. Kevin was petting on buster he must be a felineafile... no he's a frogafile... "Ketch has swallowed his pride... GO GIANTS!! 4 hours ago. Mood: hopeful" Hells ya Giants are the Superbowl XLII Champions 2008!!!! we fucking rock!!!! NC or Bust! We love you RICK!! "Beer,Doritos,& flip-flops! Great combo!" there are green leaves on the trees!!! Fort Bragg Tee-shirts! insta-southern draws just add beer. O'Lerry's Rocks! Eggs and Briquettes with out burning down Rick's apartment... PRICELESS!, "No Shit Sherlock! where'd you park your squad car Dick Tracy?",Southern Bells ain't got nothing on us Northern Bitches! Mannasses and Dumbfries; Virgina town names... where did they come up with them?? seriously?! Rick's gotta get a picture of the Pink cigarettes? at $3 a pack hello paradise! Col talking about her dinner: "i love Roy Rogers!" me: "I love Crabs!" Abbie always thought we were so different but it turns out we both want a bazillion. ....Frozen Viaminwater and hang overs don't mix...

things that make me happy.

My Cousin made this necklace for me. I always have it in my car.






Dad's dog tags, Aunt Fay's Cross


Hanging with H and my new found love Piknik


Grandpa's Hat. I wear it all the time these days




My Bible. Its old but it makes me feel safe. I have pictures and prayer cards in it too. The prayer cards of my passed friends and family and sometimes I turn to them for guidance. Faith has really helped me these days.

Lost Key part II Jersey Jerk.

The key was a important factor because it decided to hide on me. When I got back Tuesday evening I took my key out of the ignition and threw it in my (black hole) Purse. I thought maybe I had put it on my person so not having it in a pocket I left the door to my vehicle open for the evening. I don't like to do that but I didn't want to chance not being able to get in the car in the am. the am came around and I dumped my bag on the bed I had slept in the night prior. no key. I placed everything back in the bag and shook the blanket out to make sure it was not there... nope.
so down to the car I went. I spent a good hour and a half two hours rummaging through my car. Now apartment or not I have always "Lived" in my car. I don't sleep there ever... but I have ALOT of stuff in it so it was blessing and a curse that I couldn't find the F-in key. I got a lot of trash out, organized the contents, brought the dirty clothes in for the laundry including the random one socks and sweaters that were full of second hand smoke. *sigh* Lots of prayers to Saint Antony... and NO KEY!!!

I finally gave in and called my boss to let her know I was either running late or not coming at all because I might need my friend K, who has my spare key in Boonton, to over night it to my uncle's house. I went back and and Re looked... and did it again... all and all I gave up... went back up stairs sat on the bed and low and behold the darn thing was sitting on the bed right by the blanket I shook out 2 hours before. Sweet! now what ghost hid it on me and why?? because my day was over. i couldn't drive an hour to go to work for two and come back.
Everything happens for a reason right? so why did whoever or whatever make sure I spent 2 hours cleaning my car looking for the dang thing when it was sitting on my bed??
Well... my car's a little cleaner and a little happier I guess.

super secret CNGs & part I of the Jersey Jerk that I am

Okie so its been a little time from my last post. We are all waiting for J do get his actual orders now, and it sounds like we will be getting to see him... but probably not until the New Year. *sigh* amidst all craziness things are doing well here at my uncle's home, J's family, and with the family and friends.

I've been away from Blog world because I have a new crazed addiction to my super secret CNGs on Facebook! I can't keep away from it. So I figured I would leave a quick post up here for the couple of silly things that have gone down in my life as of lately. It started with the crazy threads R started, that made me learn how to turn facebook mobile off and on because we talked back and forth about the wackiest stuff from snowboarding, to FBA therapy, wet Christmas cards, E getting booted (did you know you can actually write too much and get booted from a thread?) & Xmas in a cup. We just decided to get a group up so no one else got booted and it works nicely now.

So the weather has been crappy and REALLY strange in the land of PA. 60 degrees one day and the next... SNOWING?? I know this was also the same in all parts of the country... What the heck is going on here Mother Nature!!??

yesterday was a trip... I started the morning with a chat with a good friend. hopped in the car and made it to work an hour early. yay me! but as the day turned to evening the clouds blew in and the snow started falling. I have a habit of warming up the hell neon before I make her take the hour trip back to PA and my boss had already left so as I attempted to clean up I ran out and started my snow cover neon. i removed the car key from my key chain because I needed the office key to lock up. she warmed I hopped in the car, waited in a wall of traffic on 78 west because a tracker trailer fish tailed and caught on fire. I didn't get to see the actual fire but she was a mess when I finally got past her. I sped up again and of course the ice snow was pileing up in the corner of my windshield just high enough that I couldn't see w/o sitting on my calves so I pulled off and back to the top of the on ramp to 33 north in Pa and brushed off the ice. the snow started doing the slant thin as I was driving and it slowed down the guy in front of me... We went SLOW and I'm a speed demon... I tried to pass him but I didn't trust my tires... so I was stuck... We finally reach the exit I want and I'm thinking YES he'll go straight I get off... NOPE he gets off too and then waits at the stop sign for a car that's seems to be going 15mph and is only little head lights so I did it... I honked... He went the head light car pulled on to the 33N ramp and I said ok I need gas... Of course slow guy that I honked at pulled into the SAME gas station I HAD to stop at because I REALLY needed gas. I was embarrassed. I don't honk at people... and the one time I do he ends up at the same gas pump so I held my head low. Luckily I had Grandpa's paper boy hat so I hid behind the brim.

Why do things like this happen? I guess its the serves ya right J for being a Jersey Jerk.
I'll finish tomorrow... The Key is a big player in my next story.

Welcome to the world Chloe Bell!! Born December 7th, 2008 10:46am, 8lbs

I got to visit with my friends JM and HM and see their new baby Girl Chloe Bell yesterday!! She is such a cutey! So teeny tiny!! Two days old!! I was teasing JM the other day when I was talking to him.
Chloe Bell, Born December 7th, 2008 10:46am, 8lbs

Me: Ya know yesterday was Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day right?
JM: Yup
Me: Weren’t you born on D day?
JM: Ya. Laughing a little.
Me: so Chloe is gonna grow up to be a military girl huh? JM: uh no!! She’s gonna be daddy’s girl and she is NOT joining the military!!

Momma H



Daddy J



Grandmother M

A prayer for the Navy girlfriends

Navy Girlfriends Prayer:

How often we've stood on dark flight lines and piers...
"I love you," "I'll miss you" whispered through tears.
During long separations, in peacetime, at war.....
My nights filled with dreams of this man i adore.
With only my memories to hold close at night.....
I love for the day God returns my sunlight.
Yes, life goes on when your loved one's at sea..
but the ache never leaves, the fear stays with me.
Dear Lord, I need your guidance, your love....
help me be brave, keep your watch from above.
Hold my dear one so safe in your heart and your hand
bring him home to his family.. this hero.. my man.
Of us, Lord, I pray he'll be filled with such pride...
of how we carried on without him by our side.
Please, help time fly quickly ans soon I will hold...
the hand of them man whose eyes chase the cold.
Whose voice brings delight, whose touch eases pain.
How will I ever say "Farewell" again?
With your help,dear God, I'll try to stay strong...
and pray that his tie here at home will be long.
Still, "I know that the navy will need him," I sigh
but we'll face it together, Dear Lord, you and I

Hurry up And wait here we go again!!

so now it looks like J is not coming home for another couple of weeks...
*sigh*

My Sailor is coming home!!

I am sooooo excited!!! J will be home for 9 days starting Thursday!!
I had a nice long talk with him yesterday. If it’s really expensive to cut a ticket I might be expecting a road trip to Texas which would be fun honestly but he is dying to not only see me but he also wants to see his family and friends more than anything. A road trip would take a day or two off of his home time, which he really wants every second home he can get. J told me the biggest thing he can’t wait for is to get off the plane in his blues, duffle bag on his shoulder and see his father standing there to greet him. The look in his father’s eyes is something he is looking forward to more than anything … so we are praying cutting his ticket to MI will not be too expensive so home on Thursday he will be!!




I am a little bummed though because he will not be home for Christmas or New years… I really wanted a New Years kiss… call me crazy but I didn’t get one last year because the guy I was with didn’t like my smoking. It’s those little things you miss! J and I had been together for three Christmases prior to last year. His family has an annual open house on Christmas Eve where all friends and family gather and have warm tiding with one another. Last year was the only Christmas J and I were not together in 4 years and I did miss him and his family very much. I had a nice Christmas last year, but I have so looked forward to being in J’s arms this holiday after we had gotten back together in July. I cannot complain though. I can only look forward to seeing him home safe for as long as I can.

Thank you Navy for letting him come home for just a little while!!

I love a Navy Seabee

He'll be home for Christmas if only in my dreams

I’m feeling a little better now. Last night I asked my cousin about deployment and she came back with a fantastic letter. Telling me how she got though her husband’s depolyment in 2003. She gave me a bunch of pointers and it helped me a lot to get my hopes up. H let me know that the most important things are that he needs to know I am here supporting J all the way. And that I am strong enough to wait for him because he is out there doing a very coragous and wonderful thing for our country. She told me that I should stay away from the news and only relay on what comes from him and make lots of dates with friends to keep my mind off him not being here. H actually gave me a couple pointers that I had already done with J when he was in RTC. A letter everyday to tell him how proud I was and how strong he will be when its over was something both of us did for our Js. I know I’m not the only one here there are thousands of families out there that have to deal with this everyday. H helped me out a lot though because she and I are family. And I think that the one thing that I am bent on getting involved in recently is my family. My history and were we all come from. So to take the pressure of J’s soon deployment I am determined to stick to my to do list and get busy making my life a little better while waiting for J and my life together to unfold.
This morning a spent a lot of time on facebook and I went to Navy Girlfriends site and I read a post from a girl who’s boyfriend just left for RTC. She was looking for support and I held out my hand to her. She had every concern I had when J left for Boot Camp in July. What if a relationship is too much for him? What if he wants the single life? Will he get my letters? How am I going to do this? I didn’t lie to her, I let her know that boot is awful and he will need her supporting him every step of the way. I had a great conversation with R and I’m sure that helping her also helped me. I also said that it is amazing to see the change in your boyfriend when he comes out of Boot he’s proud, stronger, and totally in love with you for helping him make it through boot camp. I learned that from a couple girls; A and S two very strong Seamen’s better halves. I also told R that I <3 a sailor was putting together a Christmas card list and that would defiantly be a fantastic thing to deal with the holidays without our Navy boys. I have already given my address and I cannot wait to start sending cards out!!
I actually will get to see J soon. He’s coming home for leave, but he is not sure when, how long, or if he will be here for Christmas. That alone is tearing me up. I’ll just be getting him back but then he will be ripped away again. All I know is I will get though this with the help of my friends maybe this time next year I will not have to worry about J being far away from me… maybe next year I will be in J’s arms.

He’ll be home for Christmas if only in my dreams



Not only did I help R, but R helped me. On her page as I was talking to her, she had posted this beautiful poem and i will repost it because it moved me so much. she says she had gotten from a friend of hers, so to whoever you are that wrote this I thank you for such an amazing letter and the tears that were brought to me in reading it.


I AM A MILITARY GIRLFRIEND

I hold no formal recognition with the powers that be.
I am at the bottom of the chain. I hold no military ID card,
I am no "dependent" or a parent.
The man I love may face unspeakable dangers,
& I am at the mercy of those who possess
this recognition for news. I understand this & accept this.

I am a military girlfriend.
I have promised to be here for him upon his return,
no matter how long he is away.
People may say I am insane for making such a commitment
with no guarantees, but I hold onto our promises
& have faith that he will come home safe to me.
I know full well that my love for him fuels him in the worst of times.

I am a military girlfriend.
There is no ring on my finger to symbolize our commitment
Though I love him no less for it.
I hope every day that he will be able to call
because a simple 30-second phone call
can bring the greatest spectrum of emotions...
smiling with tears in my eyes from so much joy & pain.
My relationship is based on a brief communication where
"I love you and I'm okay" speaks more than volumes
& gives me the strength to keep going.

I am a military girlfriend.
I take no moments spent together for granted.
I hold onto every touch, caress, kiss, every word.
I have memorized the feel of his skin, his smell, the sound of his voice,
& I play it over & over in my mind so that I will not forget.
I cry myself to sleep some nights
because missing him hurts so badly,
but wake up the next morning,
brush myself off & start a new day.

I am a military girlfriend.
The events of the next several
months hold my life, my love & my future in the balance.
When you watch the news reports, you may turn away
& go about your business relatively unaffected.
When I watch news stories of the war
I do not see nameless soldiers a half a world away.
I see individuals who will forever be changed by war.
News of every casualty causes me physical pain & deep sadness.

I am a military girlfriend.
Not a spouse or family member.
When you say your prayers for the husbands & wives,
mothers & fathers, brothers & sisters,
sons & daughters; please don't forget about me.

Angel Wings and Santa Hats

I've noticed little things. like how much Uncle C and S sound exactly like Grandpop L when they tell stories. That's 3 Generations at its best there. I was telling S how Our Grandpa is the the coolest guy in the world! He said aw you're surrounded by all the coolest guys in the world right now. I said ya I'm just missing one he's in Texas!! Come home soon Baby!






It's a traditions at Uncle C's to wear Santa hats, drink peppermint schnapps and decorate for the holidays. I did none of the above. I wore angel wings that I found in a box with ghost Halloween decor and downloaded Christmas music on Bear share after giving up on my scrooge ways. A little bit of Pa Leeese goes a long way I guess. Aunt F was telling me the first year she was with Uncle C they had Schnapps and went for a Christmas tree so though she is not allowed to have it every year she gets a craving for it. AW!!!! I can't wait to have a family tradition.






I'm still bumbed over the J deployment thing. Can't be too upset though. At least we get him home for the holidays!! he told me he'll shoot a lot of bad guys for me. Thanks baby. and he'll send home their ears so I can make key chains out of them. i laughed. Thanks... but ugh I'll pass. Navy's made that boy a little stranger.

so if deployment is a way of life why does it make my tummy hurt?

So I learned yesterday that J is going to be deployed come Feb. He has yet to get his official orders but he is pretty sure he will be attached to a Seabee unit that will be deploying soon. I'm really not sure as of now how I feel about it... all I know is it makes my tummy hurt. I'm not ready to lose him for another 6 months after I have been patiently waiting for him to come home for 6 months already. SO it's gotten worse. sigh... I shouldn't have written that letter to Santa! So here's my question for anyone who runs across this post. Does it get any easier? I've already received the answers I didn't want...

"Welcome to the military life Babe"
Thanks S. I'm proud to have a part of it.

"You knew this was going to happen That's why I told ya not to get attached."
Gee thanks for trying to tell me not to get too attached to the guy that I've had eyes for from the minute I met him. Oh and the guy that I spent almost a week on the couch because we broke up and now he's doing the right thing for himself and I'm willing to wait for him. Oops. Guess I'm the asshole.


So now I'm bumbed. I'm sure it gets easier. Just dunno how to take it right now. any suggestions?

Letter to Santa

Santa Claus
North Pole

Dear Santa,

As always I want to ask you for another fantastic year. This year was not one of my favorites but I am thankful that things are starting to brighten up. Good news is peaking out of the clouds for my friends and family! I don't want much for Christmas this year. I want my family healthy, Grandma C, Grandmom, Grandpa L, Aunt F, Grandpop B, JS, Aunt G, Mom, K, and Dad and JK to be in good health when this season comes to an end. Please watch over my friends and family that are about to have babies; JM& HM, SC&KC, J&R, RG&JG and J&M. I would also like to ask that home would find me soon and you have no problem finding me where ever I maybe this year. Keep GL, IK, C, D, A, J, R, SK, Uncle M, N, & My J and all the other boys out there fighting to keep our country free in mind for me this year. If you can also get me a diamond under the tree this year I will leave you extra cookies. Talk to you soon Santa! Keep warm!

All my love,

Jessica Lynn

Thinking about how I could have been better.

Random Thanks for Thanksgiving 2008

Tuesday night I stopped at the supermarket to pick up some dishwasher fluid for my Uncle's house. While there I was looking around for something I could have for lunch. The things you miss the most when you don't have your own stove are just as simple as Grilled Cheese. Well I figured I would not be making that for my lunch on Wednesday because even though I could use Uncle C's Stove to make the Grilled Cheese, It wouldn't be great for lunch the next day... so I got some tuna fish and the dishwasher fluid and headed back to the house. When I made it inside to my wonder that for dinner they had made Grilled Cheese sandwiches and tomato soup!!! I was ecstatic!! I told my cousins they made my night because I was aching for Tomato soup and Grilled Cheese!! I am so Thankful for Grilled Cheese.

Today was a fantastic. I love Thanksgiving where ever I am! I also shared some fantastic news with my cousin and Aunt. A friend that we had made at a family reunion 2 years ago in LBI had received a heart and was recovering in the hospital. we were all so happy for Joe. At Uncle C's house we all had a gathering. I had everyone write down what we were thankful for with W helping out with making sure it got done and it was a big hit! I even got a hug and a thank you from Uncle C for coming to dinner and suggesting that we all do Thank yous like Aunt D had started years ago. We had great food, lots of fun, Uno, pictures and desserts.

My baby is coming home soon!! He should be graduating in 13 days and on his way home!! I am so way beyond excited I cannot contain myself!! He and I talked for a long time tonight!! I cannot wait!!

A Thanksgiving Tradition of Thankyou.

Thankyou’s are not always remembered as we run on by in our daily lives so it is very important that we stop and remind ourselves and the people around us what we are thankful for. A long time family Tradition on Thanksgiving at Grandpa L & Grandmom Maryanne’s home is not only good food and good family fun. It also consists of writing down what we are thankful for and reading our thanks at the dinner table. I think My Aunt Debbie started it, and when the night is over she takes them home and saves them in a scrape book for our future selves and our kids’ kids to read. This year we will not be at Grandpa and Grandmom’s home due to health complications but I would still like the carry on the tradition and send Grandmom and Grandpa our what I am thankful for”’s.


I am thankful for my family and how loving, supportive, and close we have all become. I am not only grateful but also honored to have the friends and family I have in my life. I appreciate the fact that I have the pleasure still at 29 years if age that lots of people even younger than I am do not have; to have my grandparents around so I can call them up and tell them I love them or take a day and visit just for a hug. I am grateful that even though they say you can never change a man that a man can change and be the man I had hoped he would be years before. I am thankful for God, my country and the love that surrounds us all. It is good to be thankful not only today but all year round.

Pumpkin Pie spice coffee creamer!! Yum yum!!

This stuff is Great in coffee! I love it and it makes me very happy! I don't want the season to end this stuff is so fantastic!!

My HTML is screwed up on Blogspot is there anyone who can help? ?

My HTML is screwed up on Blogspot is there anyone who can help? ?
On some computers my blog will not even come up I get an error message
right off the bat that says
" Internet explorer cannot open the internet site http://jessicalynn1121.blogspot.com/.
Operation aborted. " then it goes to the cannot find this site page so
do I have a cookie or something in my HTML and how would I go about
finding it?

also, my pictures and gadgets that are supposed to be on the right of
my posts are some how showing on the bottom of my page now when they
used to be the correct way i have them placed on the right side of my
posts. how do i figure out how to change that back to the original
settings? i'm sure this also is a HTML error.


if you can help please do its driving me crazy!!


Kind Regards,
JLC

My Grandfather still defines Faith even though he left us in 2006

Today like most Sundays this month I made it to church. I made it to the eleven o’clock service this time, which was Grandma and Grandpa’s usual service. It’s quieter and there is an elder crowd than the 9 am service. Odd thing though today, I was not alone in the pew, I grabbed a bulletin and sat down, I had actually taken two. So I think Grandpa was sitting beside me at the service today.

After the service a couple of folks recognized me and said hello to me. The ones who did not asked my name. “My name is Jessica”, I told them. “I’m Cal and Marie’s granddaughter.” They were so happy to see me and had questions about Grandma. One man came up and said “You are talking to a Coats. Her grandfather was a fantastic man; he in himself was the definition of faith!” He exclaimed. I thanked him through some tears. I was so honored that I was from the same family of a man that is spoken so highly of especially from some folks that I am not really sure who they are. I am sure I will learn everyone’s names soon again but I could not remember them now. She told me that when she became a member of the church that Grandma and Grandpa showed her the ropes. He had helped her a lot. I left there this afternoon so proud and honored by the words of these folks. I would love to be just like Grandpa. In many ways I am, but he moved so many people and so many lives that his reputation precedes him. Anyone who knew his has fantastic things to say about him not just in the church, but in the community and in the Masonic world as well. His work is still being done and he left us the summer of 2006. I can only hope to be half as good as my Grandpa. It is such an honor to think of him these days and this day in particular.

Today we also had Communion. One more memory I have to share about my church and Grandparents is one about Holy Communion. Grandma used to do the flowers in the back. Every Sunday that church did communion Grandma would come home with the leftover bread and grape juice. That was always a nice treat. I always felt a little silly that we had the body and blood of Christ in our refrigerator but it was always really yummy. Also the smell of fresh cut flowers in the back room and the coffee cans that were piled in Grandma’s house so she could put the flowers and Grandpa could run them to the people that they were set aside for after the service.

My grandparents were very special to the church and they are so loved there and very much missed. I can only hope to be that strongly connected to my faith and my church family. I am working on it. It is week 4 now and I have not missed a service. I love getting back to my roots it feels good.
~ JLC

All I want for Christmas

Yesterday was my birthday and I got through it with my friends. Its good to have good friends and good times. My brother, his girlfriend and my father even came out to see me. it was so nice! I even got a hang over for my birthday. lol. The only thing I didn't get was my baby home with me or me there with him. that's really all I wanted for my birthday. Thanks to my great friends though even though he wasn't home with me I still had a fantastic Birthday!!!

So now all I Want for Christmas is to see J. I'm happy to report that is what I will get. :-P Oh and I wouldn't mind a Ring either.

Last Year of my 20s starts Today.

I was born on Wednesday the day beore Thanksgiving 1979. The last year of my 20's starts today. Weird that I am going to be Thirty in a year. I guess its time to step up and grow up! But I promise this year will go out with a bang!!
Happy Birthday!



21 November 1979
Your date of conception was on or about 28 February 1979 which was a Wednesday.

You were born on a Wednesday
under the astrological sign Scorpio.
Your Life path number is 4.

Your fortune cookie reads:
Plan for many pleasures ahead.

Life Path Compatibility:
You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 4, 8, 11 & 22.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 6 & 7.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 1, 3, 5 & 9.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2444198.5.
The golden number for 1979 is 4.
The epact number for 1979 is 2.
The year 1979 was not a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 1/28/1979 and ending 2/15/1980.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Goat.

Your Native American Zodiac sign is Snake; your plant is Thistle.

You were born in the Egyptian month of Tyby, the first month of the season of Poret (Emergence - Fertile soil).

Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 1 Kislev 5740.
Or if you were born after sundown then the date is 2 Kislev 5740.

The Mayan Calendar long count date of your birthday is 12.18.6.7.14 which is
12 baktun 18 katun 6 tun 7 uinal 14 kin

The Hijra (Islamic Calendar) date of your birth is Wednsday, 1 Muharram 1400 (1400-1-1).

The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 15 April 1979.
The date of Orthodox Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 22 April 1979.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 28 February 1979.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 3 June 1979.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 10 June 1979.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Saturday, 22 September 1979.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Thursday, 12 April 1979.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 27 February 1979.

As of 11/21/2008 10:44:36 AM EST
You are 29 years old.
You are 348 months old.
You are 1,513 weeks old.
You are 10,593 days old.
You are 254,242 hours old.
You are 15,254,564 minutes old.
You are 915,273,876 seconds old.

Celebrities who share your birthday:
Ken Griffey, Jr. (1969) Troy Aikman (1966) Bj”rk (1965)
Goldie Hawn (1945) Harold Ramis (1944) Juliet Mills (1941)
Marlo Thomas (1938) Joseph Campanella (1927) Stan Musial (1920)
Rene Magritte (1898) William Beaumont (1785) Voltaire (1694)

Top songs of 1979
My Sharona by The Knack Bad Girls by Donna Summer
Da Ya Think I'm Sexy? by Rod Stewart Reunited by Peaches & Herb
Hot Stuff by Donna Summer I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor
Escape (The Pina Colada Song) by Rupert Holmes Ring My Bell by Anita Ward
Babe by Styx Too Much Heaven by Bee Gees

Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 4.14598825831703 years old. (You're still chasing cats!)

Your lucky day is Tuesday.
Your lucky number is 9 & 11.
Your ruling planet(s) is Mars & Pluto.
Your lucky dates are 1st, 10th, 19th, 28th.
Your opposition sign is Taurus.
Your opposition number(s) is 6.

Today is not one of your lucky days!

There are 365 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 30 candles.

Those 30 candles produce 30 BTUs,
or 7,560 calories of heat (that's only 7.5600 food Calories!) .
You can boil 3.43 US ounces of water with that many candles.


In 1979 there were approximately 3.1 million births in the US.
In 1979 the US population was approximately 203,302,031 people, 57.4 persons per square mile.
In 1979 in the US there were approximately 2,152,662 marriages (10.1%) and 1,036,000 divorces (4.9%)
In 1979 in the US there were approximately 1,921,000 deaths (9.5 per 1000)
In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.
In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.

In 1979 the population of Australia was approximately 14,602,481.
In 1979 there were approximately 223,129 births in Australia.
In 1979 in Australia there were approximately 104,396 marriages and 37,854 divorces.
In 1979 in Australia there were approximately 106,568 deaths.


Your birthstone is Citrine

The Mystical properties of Citrine

Citrine is said to help one connect with Spirit.
Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)

Yellow Topaz, Pearl, Diamond

Your birth tree is

Chestnut Tree, the Honesty
Of unusual beauty, does not want to impress, well-developed sense of justice, vivacious, interested, a born diplomat, but irritable and sensitive in company, often due to a lack of self-confidence, acts sometimes superior, feels not understood, loves only once, has difficulties in finding a partner.



There are 34 days till Christmas 2008!
There are 47 days till Orthodox Christmas!

The moon's phase on the day you were
born was waxing crescent.

does it get easier to except?? Almost 29, 1 year away from 30.

Talking to an angel's Mother

Steph, Me, & Jayson Samuel Conrad 1983 - 2006


Sunday Church as always was welcoming. I said hellos to everyone at the service and after the service went to Rhoda Hall for the Sunday Morning Brunch. I sat and Talked with Mrs. C for hours over coffee, memories and stories galore. I even heard about Jayson's Potty Training Horrors. Mrs. C and Jayson's sister and father, My brother and I all have a common Bond with one another. k and my Grandpa passed 4 days before Jayson that year so my brother and I had it rough just like they did. K and I lost a good friend and a foundation all in one week. Jayson's family lost a son, grandson, a brother, cousin, and a best friend. It eases my mind a little because I know that Jayson and Grandpa are out there doing work for Heaven now, and Grandpa is helping Jayson maybe just as much as Jayson is helping Grandpa. I told Mrs. C that I want to start coming over on Friday nights so we can Watch one of J's favorite Shows, Ghost Whisperer together. I shared some of my favorite parts of J and my friendship with Mrs. C that day. I think it was amusing that J and I had the same taste in guys, but I always got them because because they were straight. lucky for me my Navy boy was not J's type so we never had a fight over him.
God I miss Jayson!

Is this day over??

What the Heck happened to TGIF?

Gez!! I need a drink and I can't even have one because as soon as I get to the Elks Club I start working... where as I usually end up Drinking when I go down there on Fridays!!!

Is it December yet? I am so ready for this month to be over. Can we just skip my birthday and Thanksgiving right now?? I'll give in for the rest of the holiday madiness but only because that is what J is coming home for!!

~ J

am I a bad daughter?

I love my mother dearly, but sadly my love for her does not help us with getting along. It is a push and pull relationship and it seems even harder that we will never seem to understand.Like most mothers she is always right. but she is so right that she will fight to the death on a topic that is not even worth fighting for. she is so right that she will say things like I'm just your birth mother because you don't understand me and that is ok... and other things even meaner. this forces me to say I'm sorry when I am not... and when she won't stop pushing I will walk away... does this make me a bad daughter? I can not even imagine doing such a thing when I am a mother... and I have even thought about walking away completely. She constantly tells me that No one understands her except for strangers and that her family never will... So do I just give up? I do pray for a better relationship with my parents and I will fight until I get it there... but it hurts sometimes...

Just needed to vent.
I promised in my To Do List that I will "Be more grateful for my family than I already am."
I am trying hard.

Sunday Morning Church, It was nice to be home.

It has been a goal of mine to start going back to church. No matter where I am I want to make it to a service on Sundays. This is my second Sunday in a row so I think I am doing good with my goal. There are so many days these last couple of months I had promised and promised myself I would go because I needed to pray and I needed to badly.

It's always good to go home.

I went to my church CUMC and I found home. The smiling faces and the welcoming I received warmed me. I don't go there often because it is hard for me not to see Grandma and Grandpa C there. but it doesn't matter. The two of them are part of the church. Grandpa will always be there for me and it will always be home. The sermon was all about being thankful for who you are and what you have and saying thank you for it. I always thank God for the things I have and the people I know.

And the Prayers. I prayed for Grandmom and Pop Pop and the long year this family has had. I prayed for J and his family and the trials his family has had this year. Uncle C and Aunt F and the gang. And always in my prayers Grandma C, Aunt G, and the rest of the family out west. all my cousins and extended family and that their lives will work out with his help. for the boys out in Iraq and the boys that are on their home bases in the states and working hard here.
That all would be okay and if it will not please give us the stength to pull through. and my daily thank you's for a fantastic family and wonderful people as friends.

I have a lot to be thankful for.

~ Jessica Lynn

Where's the sun?

This is totally random, but I've noticed that the sun hasn't been out in NJ or PA since November 4th. I'm waiting for it! I wanna see if my sun glasses look good with my new haircut.

God Knows I needed this hair cut!!

My hair was soooooo long and it was driving me crazy!! so I decided that Yesterday was the day!! I drove into Madison and got my hair cut by a guy named Will wearing an Iron Maiden Tee Shirt. I love it!!!

Before



After

If I could have anything for my birthday it would be to go to Texas and see my baby. It's only 15 days away.

A personal To do list.

Moving forward, I am also not happy with my status. I have been in a little bit of a rut and it is time I find my way out. I have already started saying I want to do these things so I will now make a list of the things I will do:

What I will do now.

· Be proud of who I am and believe in myself… but just enough to get by… I don’t want to be too proud. lol
· Not worry too much and say things like I don’t want.
· Move forward and do the things I am promising MYSELF I will do.
· Be humble, because I am not in the position to be proud and stuck up.
· Go to church more and say more prayers.
· Get back to the lucky, happy and free girl that I was instead of this bitter and frighten person I have become.
· Be more grateful for my family than I already am.
· Call my grandparents and parents as much as I can
· Acknowledge I miss Grandpa C, but except he is in a better place and move forward for him and except that I can do better.
· Write Grandma C all the time. Always tell her I love her!!
· Hang out with my brother more often and learn to have a good conversation with him. Avoid completely the words he used on me last week: Stuck up and “thinking I am better than him.” But also remember he said them because I do not want to hear them from him again. Also let my brother know that he means the world to me and I believe in him more than anything in this world.
· Learn something knew every day and find something that will make me happy everyday so I spend less time dwelling on the bad. The little things still make me happy.
· Go to the Colorado Café more. Line dancing helps me keep my weight down, blood flowing and endorphins moving!!
· Study hard. I will pass this P & C Insurance Exam. I will I will
· Look for a second and maybe a third job
· Search the Pocono Record, Daily Record, @ the Somerset Courier for a new apartment/ rooms for rent.
· Start jogging and working on my upper body strength (I have none)
· Eat better
· Work on my alcohol tolerance (meaning I don’t want one anymore)
· Find a fool proof and Jess proof way to quit smoking. (No more excuses set a date and move forward!!)
· Read more books.
· Stand up for what I believe and know that it is better to hold my head up high.

I can only move forward now.
Looking back will make me regress.
It all will be better soon.

McCain said it best last night

I am unhappy with the results and I fear for this country as I have feared for this country for sometime. I love the United States of America with all my heart; all she has to offer, and all she has been and will be to come. I do fear what is to come. Obama cannot do all he has promised. I stand by what is true and I am tired of looking at our flag with tears. This country is still young and she showed her age yesterday. We must be humble, McCain was a gentleman until the end and he tells us we must move forward and stand by the greatest country in the world our United States of America and her new president. If we listen we will be just as just as he and our country will have a chance at becoming better. Speaking ill of the results will only make us look worse. I think that standing by McCain as he stands by our country is our best bet. So humbled I will be. I will pray and Hope for the best and do what I know how to do; Be proud to be an American and support her and her troops no matter what the cost.

I voted and I am proud

thank goodness Monday is over.

What a weekend and I feel like it hasn’t ended quite yet. It all started with the lovely Friday of Halloween. I woke up late in Pa and just threw clothes on and ran out the door. I made it with minutes to spare and changed. Thank goodness there was not a lot of traffic.

We didn’t get a lot of kids here at Allstate, only one little cheerleader girl. She got candy and a coloring book. Hope she liked it. The only other costumes we got were the toy store people. They all dressed up like movie theater candy boxes. They looked great. The day was not long at all. I did however get out closer to 6 pm because of running around.

I hate I.O. they were making me drop off my own cable boxes so I would not get charged for the next two weeks of cable I have not been watching. Their dumb office was hard to find and when I finally did find it they had been closed for 2 hours. Sigh so I stopped by the NJ bar and grill to see Pat because he was fairly close to the IO place. I dropped off the cable boxes at Pat's apartment and then had some beers. I love hanging with the Randolph kids!! Chris was there. we talked baseball, football, hockey and back in the day. Jeff showed up in a cow suit. E is a cop (wow!!) Mike was the Dark Night's joker. Mike k was a coors light bottle cap. and they all bought me beers and shots until I couldn't drive home. 2 am rolled around and I was curling up on P's love seat only to be woken up at the crack of dawn by C so I could, as promised pre shots, give him a ride to Wayne so he could catch a 7 am bus with his hockey boys. OOOOH 7 am came quick. I got lost in Wayne and then when I finally got back to Dad's house I fell into a deep sleep until 3 pm that afternoon. I got woken up by Grandmom with not so good news. I still have some issues trying to figure out how I feel about it. I will have to post on a later date what is going on. I talked with the brother's GF. She helped me feel better about everything and assured me that she would have K call Grandmom ASAP on Sunday. I made my way back to Pa that evening. I actually got to the house when no one was home. i called Uncle Chris and he said I could build a fire and to watch out for the ginny hens next door. they're territorial. I pulled up the internet in my car and read Make Mine a Mojito and the Student and the Solider the two blogs that make me happy. Everyone arrived home with in the half hour. We continued the evening watching talking cat videos on Utube and i showed them my new favorite song:The Zac Brown Band Chicken Fried.
Sunday Morning Emmet and I went to his church on the hill. I cried like I always do when I go to church these days. I have since Grandpa C passed in 2006. I can't go without tearing up. It was very nice though and I got to take communion which helped me feel good. it was nice to partake and the church has lots of people that where extremely friendly and welcoming. Then on to the Madison Elks to bartend Football Sunday. Hells ya Giants!! Sorry Dallas... your State of Texas took my boyfriend away from me until December and I miss him!! Monday was a pain. I woke up early and Tried to get my cable boxes but failed. P was not home. I spilled coffee all over my lap and was tired and shot out all day. only Good thing that came out of Monday was gas for $2.25 and talking to my Seabee. glad its over and on to the elections!!

a little bit of chicken fried

I love this Song!!!

My Friends Think I’m a drunk. Lol

I got a text from Jo yesterday that said:

FWD** If you saw me in the back of a police car what would you think I was arrested for? Respond to me and then forward this too your friends to see how many things your friends think you would be arrested for.***

Would you believe?

3 responses about unpaid tickets… these three unoriginal friends (even though I love them) cheated because they knew that actually happened. I was arrested for not paying a ticket via a warrant for my arrest you also get points and a free ride in a police car hand cuffs included.

2 friends responded indecent exposure for flashing a police car. (I did do this on a dare by mistake. The dare was to Flash the next car that drives by… not my fault it was a cop. And no I did not get arrested.)

The remainder of my friends and two cousins responded with drunk in public.
4) Said public intoxication with which
1) Included an & disorderly charge.
1) DUI (thanks Cuz *knocking on wood*)
2) The most original yet still involving Drinking… “Stealing Cigarettes from a bum in a drunken stopper.”

Well its Friday let’s get cracking on this drunk in public thing!!

*sMy last Real night in my apartment, *sigh*

it was Friday. My last Friday night in my apartment. I love my Friday nights. I actually spend most of them cuddled up in my blankets watching Ghost Whisperer and the new eX List (which I think is funny as Hell) and then go to sleep early. Yup I go to bed early on Fridays. I like it... and sometimes I do it because I'm hung over or over tired from the night before Thanks to Thirsty Thursday. *sigh* so I'm gonna miss that. my cozy Friday nights in my bed. but that's okay. I will get them back soon enough!!

I also spent Saturday in the apartment, But nothing was on my walls anymore.
It was just my bedTV, and Tv stand... and By Sunday it was empty thanks to Ej and R.

I don't want to get used to living at my dads but it will all work out.

Knock Knock Life I'm ready for you to start now

My last night and shift at Poor Henry’s was last night. I’m so sad. I figure I will be back begging for my job back soon enough.

I did decide that I am going to live locally with my father and go back and forth to PA when I feel like it more than I have no choice. I am still not excited about either my mom’s place or my father’s place. They aren’t comfortable, warm and fuzzy places to me with an old room untouched from high school like you see in the movies, Hence my anxiety about it. I’m knocking on life’s door right now and I’m hopping that I will be able to start it soon, but that just means sleeping on a couch at Uncle Chris’ and little rooms at Mom and Dad’s places for a little bit.

And can I just tell you about Life’s door! It’s not giving me any help with this insurance Exam stuff. I took the exam for the 4th time and still failed!!! I know I’m not stupid, and I studied A LOT this time and felt extremely prepared… so I’m thinking I should have made it this time. Nope! I actually did worse. So Knock, Knock!! Paleeessse let me in!! I’m trying so hard now!! Gonna keep my head up high, Pray and Study.

J

Oh how I've missed you these summer months

Can I just telling about the insane craving for hot chocolate I had last night? It’s gotta be autumn. I was sitting in my room drinking green tea and I got really chilly. I wrapped myself in a blanket and fought my craving because I didn’t wanna get out of bed and chance the fact that I wouldn’t be able to sleep if I went out to get a cup of hot chocolate. Call me old if you want to but if I drink or eat too much sugar or caffeine after a certain hour I could be up ALL night and I so didn’t want that to happen. So I stayed wrapped in 2 comforter blankets, watched Army Wives and passed out with the TV on. I will be getting hot chocolate tonight! That is for sure!!

Can I just tell you my list of favorites that I oh so miss in the summer months that I will be able to enjoy now that the colder weather is here??

Scarves

The smell of Wood stoves and fire places in the air whereever you go!
Orange and Yellow!
Hoodies and Gloves.
the chrip air in the mornings

(Ok you can’t eat these but they are sooo comfy I had to put it in my I Miss you during the summer list)



Hot chocolate (of course)
Hot Coffee and Bailey’s
Tomato soup and grilled cheese


(and I cheat on this one cause summer nights can be cold especially if it’s rainy!!)
Any soup for that matter

Hot Tea with Honey
Apple butter
Thanksgiving and Christmas left overs
Turkey, Stuffing, Cranberry on a white roll with mayo!! (thank you for teaching me this one Baby!!)

French toast with Taylor ham!

MMMMmmm MMMMmmm!! Oh have I missed you over the summer!!

Come Home soon, and in God we still trust

He isn't fighting the war yet, but He's training for it. I have friends out there, the Morristown National Guard, Marines, and Air force. in about 5 months he will be there too...
For all of you who have loved ones in the military and are standing by them, waiting for them to leave, or come home I wanted to send my love to you and to them with this video. It says so much.




Also with this one; Because though things in this country are rough we will get though it and we will be stronger because of it.

Things are looking up

Dear Dale,

I am supposed to be taking my insurance state exam right now. I went to bed early and was awake by 7am… but I chickened out. I need more time… or at least I feel like I do. I really feel like I don’t know anything and I just need to read the book over and over again… today I hate insurance. It’s making me feel dumb. It’s this whole other world that seems to be in another language and the more I read it the more it doesn’t make any sense. I know my decision to not take the test today was not a wise one… but I need more time to stare at the book and maybe absorb the words… I will be scheduling the exam for Tuesday morning. This time hopefully will be the last.

As for the Pennsylvania move; I have realized that some of my very favorite people live in Pennsylvania. My mother, uncles, aunts, Grandma Beth, lots of cousins, they all live in PA. I had a fantastic time spending the day with them on Thursday. Uncle Chris lives pretty close to my job and I can stay there a couple nights a week and the other nights I will stay with Mom but spend time with my Grandma Beth and Cousin Sammie. The drive is totally worth it because I will be closer to my family. I have missed them so much over the years and it will be good to see them as much as possible. The holidays will be a lot nicer this year because I will be with them. Last Christmas day Mark and I did nothing and it was depressing. I missed my family. We celebrate Christmas on Christmas Day. I think Mark would have gone with me if I asked him, but his plan was to do nothing considering his family does their big night on the Eve. I don’t have to worry about this though this year. Jason and I will be able to spend sometime together because he will be on leave and his family also celebrates Christmas on Christmas day.

As for Jason my Sailor man, he admitted how much he misses me. He said he was having a day that wasn’t the best and days like Thursday he wishes he was home. He also told me to look up flights to Texas because he’ll be phase 3 this weekend and he’ll be able to see me and leave base for a weekend or have me stay on base with him. My god what I would give just to be in his arms! I am not a Texas fan but I would go there to be with him.

My apartment is just fine the way it is right now. If I shut the door it feels like home.

Things are looking up now. I am very happy that the silver lining is showing through the storm.

All my Love,

Jessica Lynn

Good morning Boonton Fire Department is there a fire in my house?

The Boonton Fire Department showed up at my house this morning. It was kind of weird. I was told when I first moved in here that if there was a fire in my house that they would be here in seconds… well that’s true. I was still sleeping from too many beers at the St. Patrick’s Day hippie’s house and the fire call goes off. This is normal. The siren is in my backyard. It did wake me up but I ignored it and rolled over. Then my phone is ringing… its H. I ignore that too because I’m tired and I will see her later. Then I hear banging on my door. I figure its H and I’m thinking Jez I guess she really needs me. “What?!” I call in my raspy I’m not awake yet voice. It wasn’t H who opened my door, it was CJ dressed in full fire apparel. “There’s an alarm going off in your house, you need to come outside.” He informs me and then turns around and walks out. I did what he asked… not even stopping to put on shoes. I was fully dressed, I went to bed that way because I was drunk. It was all so weird and I was like WTF? Basically… The trucks were all out on the street, and there were firemen and women all over the place… Jack, CJ, & Ray and a couple others I knew from living next door. they were all looking at me… I was like uh… sorry guys. I called H back and sat on the porch steps.

H: Are you ok? Me: Ya. I’m good you guys heard the call huh? It’s the alarm upstairs in Jim’s place. H: Ya we heard it on James’ radio. What happened? Me: Not sure yet I gotta go though and find out. H: Ok call me back.

The chief called me over and asked if I knew how to get in touch with Jim, I said yup and blew up his phone. I called him and his sister Kurry three times each and then left a message with Jim. According to the chief and CJ they were cleaning the firehouse and they heard the alarm going upstairs. Since no one was answering the door, they had to sound the alarm to get in there. Jack and a couple of the other guys came down form Jim’s place with the smoke detector still blaring. They brought it to the truck, changed the batteries and it was all over. Jim called me back and I put him on the phone with the chief. Ray teased me about being in my socks… I told him CJ told me I had to come out and I did… shoes weren’t really on my mind. Then he commented on the fact that they didn’t match. Lol. Well I dunno socks are socks. Is it safe to go back in? I inquired. CJ said I dunno I’ll ask the chief. And so it was. Just like that the street was completely quiet again. I got my shoes on and went for coffee.

I guess this whole leaving Boonton thing is going to be eventful after all.

Thanks again BFD for your quick response and for keeping me safe.

Boonton Clean Sweeped

P.S. My neighbors, the Boonton Fire department, and drum core came back from Ogdensburg, NJ fireman's parade with a clean sweep. They took first prize in everything judged and had their small but traditional victory lap from the top of the hill to the front of the fire house. These are the events that I will miss the most about living on this street and in this fantastic little town! congratulations Boonton FD!!

Dale, Will it really be alright? I hate moving!!!

Ever since our youth pastor Dale Forsman passed when I was a sophomore in high school, I have written my diary entires to him. Dale was so easy to talk to and at times... still today I know he is listening.

Dear Dale,

How is it all hanging up in Heaven with Jayson Conrad, Grandpa, and Uncle George? I could ask about everyone else but there is such a long list. I haven’t written you in a while Dale, I am sorry. My diary consists of letters to Grandma and those have pretty much run out. I wrote Grandma a letter in August apologizing for slacking off because my boyfriend was in boot camp… and I even feel like that was not an excuse good enough. I miss my family and how it all used to be. I even feel like I am whining to you right now. But these are all different stores for different times so let’s get to the facts of now. The fact of the matter is this sucks!! Today Sucks!! Sorry but it does.

I’m sitting in my empty apartment with Buster the cat, whom will be leaving soon as well to go check out the new place. I am really going to miss it here… I’ve been in this apartment for 2 years almost, the town for two and a half, and yet again I find myself in limbo… waiting to move in with my mother and find a place to stash all of my worldly belongings. I don’t have much I guess… enough to fill one big room… but it is mine and I am very sad that soon… I won’t have a room to put it in. I do lie… it is not a completely empty apartment. My room is completely in tack and will stay as such until maybe a week before November 1^st. it does feel empty though… H and J moved practically everything out… down to even the hooks on the wall in the bathroom. A side from a few boxes… my stuff is all that remains… and some garbage too… which I’m sure I will have to dispose of because there are no garbage bags either… they were H’s. They actually did all this almost like I wasn’t here even though I asked if I could help… they asked once and I took a couple mirrors over in my car. I don’t work well with this. I never have… I hate moving (and I’m sure you don’t believe it because I have moved so many times in the last ten years it would make any normal person’s head spin) but right now I feel like another foundation has been ripped away from me… and it’s the only thing I have had solid for the past two years. I had something that I knew would be here and was mine… and now in 28 days that will be gone… and it actually already is. I don’t want to stay in this big 2/3s of the way empty place. Its depressing, and I don’t need to be in a depressing place all by myself with my thoughts, a cable TV and the ghost of a girl that was lonely for her mother (Melinda is another story. She has been very good but, I doubt she’ll be happy that I am the only one here now). I know this apartment is just a shell and stuff is just stuff… but everything has such memories… reasons for belonging to me and sometimes when I go to look for something and remember I threw it away I say Damn! I knew I would want it someday and that someday has to be today.

C has told me everything will be fine twice in this past week when I mentioned I didn’t want to move… and though it may be fine in the long run I am so crushed that she would just blow me off so quickly on the matter. Ya, she has moved a few times in the last two years… and her life has changed in big ways… but for her to say “it’ll be fine” in her I don’t wanna talk about this voice makes me annoyed… and maybe even think that she thinks its not as important to me as it really is to have my room and my stuff. It’s been the one thing that has kept me moving forward even though I’ve had issues moving on. The she changes the subject. I want to scream at her that it won’t and cry and make a scene but I let her move on. Clearly I will be “all right”. I have the chance to get my life back into some order and regain my independence I’ve been trying very desperately to find again. Maybe this is my chance. I will have a 4 hour commute to and from my mother’s to work in Branchburg, and that can help me clear my mind and tire me out so I sleep better at night. My mother will not bother me too much, she has her own way of living and I don’t think my presence will disturb her daily routine. It may even help us understand one another more, because we are just so back and forth with wither we are arguing or long lost BFFs, and it will help me be closer to my grandma B, and Sammie; All good things. Odds are, I will be able to get a new place sooner than not, maybe even before Jason returns from A school, which I will need because I plan on locking him in my room for at least 24 hours, because by this time I will be sexually deprived for almost 6 months and God help me I need a big room to keep him as my sex toy for a day. Lol! Which speaking of my hybrid sailor, I have called him twice today and I have yet to get a call back. I am not about to let my silly thoughts run away with that just because I’m depressed about being alone in my apartment. I do miss him though and God I wish he was here. It would have been a lot less lonely to go through if I had him and his blue eyed charm saying Angel it’ll be okay. Now him I can listen to the “its okay”, “it’ll be just fine”, and “you will be alright”. But he is not here in my world right now I sure could use him!

Thanks for listening Dale! You always help and I feel so much better about my future now than I did when I started this blog entry.

All My Love,

Jessica Lynn